Once upon time, all animals had arms and legs, including snakes. One snake named ??????? was one rotten egg. He burned down fire hydrants, punted babies across highways, and trained rabid badgers in the art of jujitsu. The badgers used this terrible trait to karate chop old people out of their wheel chairs, and then would leave them to struggle to get back on the wheelchair, which they would place teetering on the edge of a cliff. One day, he was prepping for his most heinous crime yet: he was going to set off fireworks in an orphanage, and singe all of the parentless kids inside. He set off the fireworks a week later, but something went awry. The fireworks set the orphanage on fire! ??????? laughed though, but you probably wouldn’t have been able to hear him, because of the noise generated from all of the orphan’s screams of agony. ??????? stormed off once all of the kids seemed dead, but in fact all of them escaped with the help of Jonathan Lyroid, the eldest orphan.
Unfortunately, all of the kids ended up in nightmare comas. Two weeks into their nightmare comas, 50 out of the 52 kids succumbed to death from their wounds. ??????? went to their funerals, which at first thought to be a nice gesture by him, actually turned out to be a horrible crime in disguise. At the funerals of all the children, ??????? would break down at each of them, but not in the sad way. He would pull out a boombox, and would jam out to the beat.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA,” he laughs as he breakdances.
All two2 of the remaining kids felt disgusted as ??????? laughed at their friend’s funerals. At the end of the last funeral, they were done with his attitude. But, sadly, before they could do anything, ??????? tipped over their wheelchairs and kicked them to death.
Zepartyia watched down on ???????’s actions with disgust. Zepartyia was the funeral god (but also happened to rule over all bidets), and ???????’s manners at each funeral made Zepartyia furious as a mother who found out her son had just done drugs. Zepartyia, upon watching what ??????? had done to the disabled children, went down to earth to chat with him.
“???????, I have been viewing your actions at all of these kid’s funerals, and I’m upset with what you have done. I hereby will curs...” Zepartyia trailed off as ??????? wheeled away towards the desert in one of the dead kid’s wheelchairs.
“You think you can run away from me,” Zepartyia yelled at ???????’s silhouette.
Zepartyia flew through the air towards ???????’s shadowy figure. Once he was only a couple yards away, he reached out his 60-foot long arms, and wrapped his 10-foot long legs around ???????’s body like a very lethal hug.
“ Kakógo chërta!” screamed ???????.
“You need to learn a lesson!” replied Zepartyia in a deep monotone voice.
“I’ve already learned the lesson you're trying to teach me: kick harder!” ??????? replied.
“I told you what you did wrong a couple of minutes ago. You need to be more respectful at funerals,” Zepartyia calmly answered.
“Oh yeah. I have realized my ways, I am deeply sorry for what I’ve done,” ??????? apologized.
“I can tell you’re lying. I can tell that you don’t even know what you did wrong,” Zepartyia acknowledged.
“Fine, I don’t know what I did, but I can still feel sorry about it. I will never do what I did again. I know you probably won’t forgive me, but I’m OK with that. I know I am truly sorry,” ??????? explained.