I'm running in an endless forest, no one knows where I'm at or who I'm with. They think I'm safe at home in my room in bed asleep. He told me i was safe he told me he loved me. He lied. I wasn't safe he didn't love me. He used me or at least he tried. I got away. Now I'm running and running not knowing where i am or where I'm going. Hes chasing me. Gaining ground. What am i to do. Hide fight run? I'm slowing down getting tired. then nothing. No sense of time or where I'm at just blackness. I feel pain. Whats going on? Why am i hurting? Who's around me? Why is there so much pain? Nothing changes just the pain and the blackness. I suddenly hear a voice. Its such a lovely voice. I want to trust it want to find out who it is and what they're saying but i cant move cant see cant talk cant do anything. My body feels lighter. I'm able to move but i still cant see or talk. I get up or what i think is up. I stumble trying to make my way to the voice. But i cant move again. Somethings holding me back. Whats going on? I'm fighting to move but its not working I'm getting tired again. Blackness is back. I feel nothing my bodies so heavy. I hear the voice again..its male. Its sweet...gentle...loving. where is it? Why can i only barely hear it but cant see it? Why am i not moving? I want to go to the voice. I get up, body still heavy. Slowly moving forward but something hard hits my face. I fall, blood is running from my lip, i get back up...start again. I feel a tugging on my arm, someone whispering for me to come cone back, that they love me, that they're sorry. But i know the truth. They're not, they never will be, they'll never change. I fight them, i get room and do my best go run. Its getting easier to move. I can see shapes but blackness. I whisper, "I'm sorry, i cant do this, i have to stop this pain. I cant handle it."
"Don't give up. You're stronger than what you think. Just keep moving forward. Don't look back. Ill be here to catch you. Just. Don't. Give. Up."
I heard him. He gives me hope...but how long will it last. I'm tired again. I lay down to sleep. But i don't dream. Monsters are invading my dreams. They kill, they torture me, they wont let me go. What am i to do? Love suddenly fills me, peace invades my soul.The pain starts to subside but doesn't disappear without leaving its mark. I cant trust, its hard for me to love, i don't like who i am or what i look like, its easy for me to disappoint and so on and so forth.
I start seeing a white dot in the distance but its so small that i think its my imagination playing tricks on me. "I cant do it. I have to stop, no one cares. They never care."
"I care so don't give up. Keep pushing even when you don't think no one else does. They do but you don't see it. Everyone around you loves you. They care."
"How do you know? You don't know me? You don't know what I'm dealing with! You don't know what its like to feel all this pain and nothing but this pain! No happiness! No laughter! No love! No...NOTHING!"
Why is there so much pain? Why only pain? I don't deserve this...yes i do. I never care. So i deserve this. I slow my pace. Walking is good, walking calms the soul..so I've been told.
The dots getting bigger. I can slightly see the outline of something or is it someone? I don't know. Ill never know. The blackness is closing in again. Why is this happening?
I feel a hand lightly touch my shoulder and i hear someone say that they love me. That they don't want me to leave them not like this never like this. I want to ask them what they mean and tell them that I'm fine but i cant speak or move again. They're crying and i can feel their tears running down my face. They keep repeating I'm sorry i shouldn't have done that.
I can move my hand again. Their hand is in mine squeezing it and a give what i think is a reassuring squeeze. They start to laugh and hug me tightly saying that they love me and that their sorry and glad that I'm alive and asking if I'm okay. I cant talk so i squeeze their hand as a reply.
I hear the voice again but this time it was in my head. "I told you that people cared about you and that id be here to catch you. I love you."
I opened my eyes and seen the one person that i cared about tears stained face with love in their eyes. I smile and say "i love you and always have"
"Like i just said. I love you and i told you that people cared and that you should never give up. Just remember that I'm always here when you need me just say something. Don't leave things bottled up like you do. That never ends well like you just seen." He hugged and kisses me and held me close. After that everything went well. Yes we may have had our ups and downs but we were always there for each other when we needed it. We help each other out and we discussed things out.