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What Next?
I was forced to stay there to think on my sins. I will never change myself in order to escape, and nor is it a possibility for me..... Let us go back, 14 months ago... where my story begins.
I remembered when I lived a free life, but that was a long time ago. With my mom, dad, sister, and grandma in a house meant to support only a few, it was a tight fit. I remembered working hard long days at two jobs while trying to balance in school. I got so sick of it! From Texas to Louisiana and California, I would do anything to leave my wretched country, Mexico. Then one night I cracked. I packed my bags and was off. It took me two months to gather supplies for my voyage across the Gulf, and I was ready. All I had in my possession were the cloths on my back, a week’s worth of spare food, a little bit of cash, and a skiff that was there the night I left, so I seized the moment started my quest. I made it to Texas after a week and a half on the water. And when I washed ashore, who else found me but the cartel. They interrogated me and after I said the word “run-away”, I was in. I learned the ways of the drug lords, and was very successful at selling drugs in secrecy. Our heist was stuffing the dope into teddy bears, and we would then deliver them in crates. They tested my physical and mental strength by sending me on delivery missions. I was on my true test now... I had to deliver five hundred crates to Bigg Hozz. He was the biggest buyer in all the south. He was one of those rich folk. I slid out the side, so I guess it was said that I was evading the police when it happened. My name was José Bandérrez.
I was waiting for him at the pier that day; I sat in “my” truck. The police were nowhere in sight until about six p.m. An officer patrolling this gloomy area pulled up to my vehicle. I thought to myself,” Oh god. I am so busted! With this much dope I could get a life sentence!” The officer asked me to roll down my window, and he said,
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask to see your license for you to station here.”
“Good afternoon officer. I umm don’t have a license with me.” I said.
“Please step out of your vehicle. I will need to inspect your vehicle.”
I said no;they pulled out their guns so I ran into the nearest building. I locked the door behind me as I heard a barrage of bullets behind me! THUD! I looked down; my legs had collapsed to the ground. My feet were aching like sharp needles that had flared in my heels. I'll just rest here, I thought.The wooden door shattered and chipped away in front of me. I started to feel light headed, but I noticed that the spray of bullets had ceased.Two men ran up to me, shouting in an indistinct voice. I lay on the floor, motionless. Instead of helping me up, I felt a cold, metallic chain bind my hands together. With a heavy click, I knew it: handcuffs. "You're under arrest for selling illegal drugs to the US.” the officer said.
I didn't listen to what the officer had to say because I couldn’t process the words.
I was trying to scan the room for a get-away opportunity, but all I saw were these circles of black that followed me wherever I looked! At first I thought I was in sunlight but, shortly I realized that it was seven at night. All of the blackened circles were swirling around me, they came at me, I was trying to lose sight of these dots blocking my vision until they reached me! It all went black... Nothing to see... nothing to hear... just nothing...
I awoke in a hospital bed, and I attempted to stretch my aching muscles. Soon, I realized that I was chained to the bed. Was I going mad? I started to strain myself; I needed to get away from this mess!
The man said, “It’s no use. You should enjoy your last few hours... while you can...”
I had no idea what he was talking about; the doctor came back later that day. He started to get a bag of barbiturate, paralytic, and potassium solution. He unhooked the IV fluid, and he injected a new needle into my wrist.
“It pains me to think of what this may do to me,” I said aloud.
“Soon you will know,” the doctor said.
I started seeing light all around me! It was taking over all of my peripheral vision. I don’t think I'm going to wake up from this. I went out, I felt nothing, not the touch of the chair or the humidity in the air.
Some people believe hell is a myth. I know differently. People told me it was some religious mumbo-jumbo...some say it’s a fiery pit. It was none of those things. It was black nothingness. I saw no one, and nothing, but someone saw me. I looked up to see nothing but a dark abyss. I looked on, pitch black. At first I was puzzled but then I realized I was in hell. I sat for what seems like days to think the things that could’ve brought me here. I tried to fall asleep, and I realized I was not tired, I have no thirst to be quenched, and hunger isn’t striking! I was going to waste in this abyss. I use the time I have, but didn’t long for it, and think. Was there a way to leave?
“No.” a voice said.
I freaked out. I didn’t know where anything was, but I ran.
“You can’t leave until your conscience is clear. ”
I stopped... I yelled out as loud as I possibly could, “How?” That one word defined my stay here.
“You must think on your sins that you performed on this earth, then all you need shall be revealed.”
I was done.
“I had no regrets,” I thought. So I sat there, and I am still today. I will never admit what I did wrong because I did what I thought was just.
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