Revisions for a friend | Teen Ink

Revisions for a friend

August 3, 2011
By Warm_My_Heart GOLD, My City, Other
Warm_My_Heart GOLD, My City, Other
13 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Leo F. Buscaglia

I flashed my glistening white fangs at the thieves surrounding me. "GO. AWAY.", I screamed, trying to sound more intimidating then I really was. They scoffed at me. "This little puppy will make
us a fortune," snickered one of them.

I paused for a moment, glancing at their faces. Quickly, I darted into one and sunk my fangs deep into his skin. I just held on, squeezing my jaws tighter, making sure the pain was excruciating. It was bitter blood, just like his soul. I released my grip as he fell to the floor, then I wiped off the blood dripping for the corner of my mouth. I flashed a ice cold stare to the other thief chasing me.

"What? Scared of a twelve year-old?" I chuckled and smiled a little. "That's just pathetic." I stepped closer, as he did the opposite. Finally, I had grown the courage to stand up for myself. With uneasy glances, he stepped back once more, then darted off. "HA!" I laughed. "PATHETIC."

With a smile on my face, I reveled in my accomplishment and walked right past the shady corner I was in. Suddenly, my legs and arms began to stiffen. My smile lay cold on my face, unable to move. My legs and arms gave out as I collapsed to the floor. "Help!," I yelled as I coughed up some blood. Slowly, I was getting more and more sleepy. My eyes slowly shut as I blacked out.

"fox...Fox...FOX..." A voice said in my head. "Mom....." I mumbled in my drowsy slumber.", I still have two hours of sleep left"...." I turned over and opened my eyes. Somebody was in front of me, but It was NOT the pleasing sight of my mom, but another thief. I suddenly sat up, adrenaline rushing through my veins. "Come here, little girl." He said with a devilish smile.

Like any other 12 year old, I shrieked and ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I hopped onto my feet and I was out of there. I was sprinting as fast as I could, then tripped. I flung straight into the air and landed onto a rock. I looked at my bloodied knee. "Dammit." I muttered under my cold stifled breaths.

The pain seared into my knee, as I started at it in bewilderment. This felt like no childhood scrape. It felt like having your back whipped then getting lemon juice and salt rubbed into the lines. I groaned and toppled over. "I think I'll just sleep for two more hours."

The author's comments:
These are revisions/editing for a friend. She did not specify the character, but I believe it is a fox and a human

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