Let me explain to you about the one person I can’t stand. My brother. My brother has this giant head to fit his bushy haircut; his eyes are on each side of his head like a hammerhead shark. He has a tiny nose that just doesn’t fit right on his face, his mouth looks like that of a chipmunk, or a beaver which would explain his giant teeth. Opposed to his giant head he has this really scrawny body, I mean he looks like Peewee Herman. I don’t know how his head doesn’t flop over. He wears these Hollister clothes that show his rib cage off, the baggy pants go great with his scrawny chicken legs. My brother always talks about my life to me, he always says “You need to make sure Mom and Dad are wasting money for you to go goof off and waste your college education”. He is so worried about me goofing off and my parents wasting money on me, especially since he went to a catholic school and didn’t do anything he was supposed to. All he did was screw up and mess up all his chances. I say to him “Zack shut up, I don’t ruin chances that people give me.”

“Rebecca you shut up and listen, Mom and Dad could be spending that money on me you little brat. I could have had a lot more for my birthday. It’s my birthday today and I should be spoiled.” He said through his clenched beaver teeth.

“God before you came along I got everything I wanted, but of course you had to be born, and to top that off you had to be a girl” as he slaps his hands together, angry at the fact that he isn’t an only child nor spoiled.

“Stupid girls, I hate them all!” he looked at me after that rolled off his tongue “sorry that kind of slipped, I didn’t mean it like that.” I think he realized my mom walked into the room because he looked like he saw a ghost after he said that to me. He turned pale and his eyes were bulging more than normal.

The morning of my brother’s birthday came first, and for some reason I remember his birthday. His birthday is January 13th and he is two years older than me, he is the only brother I have and of course on his birthday I have to give him birthday punches. It’s a tradition, I get to beat on him and I won’t get yelled at. I surprise my brother when he wakes up in the morning with a poster on his door that says happy birthday big brother. When he gets up and goes to the bathroom, I run in his room and hide to scare him and say SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY! He hates it so much but I have to do it every year even though he knows it’s coming by now but he still jumps and gets scared because I hide in different spots every year - I hid under his bed, in his closet full of clothes, behind is chair which is a red and black hand, laying flat on his bed, behind the door with all of his nasty laundry and under his messy desk. It is so much fun when it comes to my brother’s birthday and all the pranks. When he got up he opened his presents. I remember he got two new Hollister sweatshirts, a few new Xbox games and gift cards to his favorite stores – Best Buy, Target, Game Stop, PacSun and Champion. My aunt bought him some new stuff for his dorm room – fans, a clock, a television, pens, notebooks, headphones, backpack and a comforter.

My brother picked to go to Fridays for his birthday, my whole family went, my grandparents aunts and uncles everyone. There was a huge group of us and we all sat at a grand old table, and my brother sat at the end of the table as like the “king” for the night. The waitress was overwhelmed with all the orders - steak with mashed potatoes and corn, bacons burger with fries, sizzling chicken, chicken salad, potato skins, chips and salsa, cheese sticks, chicken fingers. It was a great dinner like usual until it was time for dessert. We didn’t know why our waitress hadn’t come back for a long time to ask us what we wanted for dessert. A half hour went by and we just kept on talking up a storm and then our waitress finally came over with a huge cake in her hands with her other employees behind her, it was chocolate cake with chocolate frosting - written on the top of it said Happy Birthday Zachary in red frosting because that was his favorite color. Everyone sang to him happy birthday then he was allowed to cut the first piece because he was the birthday boy. In our family we allow the birthday person to cut the first piece. When my mom gave me my piece of cake, I got up and went right over to my brother and shouted to him "Guess what bro you are getting caked! Hope you enjoy it!"

Before he even had a chance to move, I smudged the cake right in his face - all the red and chocolate frosting all over his nose, mouth and cheeks. I asked him how does the cake taste and he just gave me a death stare. When my brother’s cake came out to the table we all sang happy birthday. The wax from the candles was dripping by the time we finished the song. When my dad started cutting the cake he gave my brother his piece, then I got my piece. I then stared at it for a second thinking to myself “Should I do this?” I then grabbed my plate by the rim and slowly started to shift my body off of the chair. Right when my brother turned to talk to my mom, I slowly started lifting my plate. My mom and my brother carried on their conversation. I had it all planned out in my head and the more they talked the more I became eager. Right when my brother turned his head I sprung out of my chair like a bunny almost and shoved the cake right in his face, my arm moved inch by inch to his face and every inch closer I got, the more worried he looked. I pulled my plate away slowly to make sure any cake would hit me. My brother cleaned his eyes off with his finger, he used his fingers like little windshield wipers. He grabbed the napkins and started wiping his face off almost in a calm fashion. It felt like the whipped cream was stuck to his face. It just wouldn’t come off like the stains on a shirt. Every time he attempted to wipe a spot on his face clean he spread the frosting a little more as if he was giving himself a facial. Finally he was cleaned up. He looked up at me with such an angered face and said to me in an almost demonic voice “you better sleep with one eye open”. Although I may not remember birthdays I remember him saying that.

After that, I received another piece of cake from my dad and he told me to eat this one and not waste anymore cake. I sat down in my chair and I ate my cake like everyone else did in the family. The cake tasted delicious even though I still think my mom’s homemade cake is better. It was as if a chocolate explosion happened in my mouth with the creamy chocolate frosting and the warm spongy chocolate cake. After eating cake, everyone sat around and talked about how great dinner and the cake was and that it was a great choice to go to Fridays for dinner. I remember the manger coming over asking how everything was and I looked at my phone and it was midnight – The restaurant closed at 12:30 I think that was our time to leave. Of course not though 12:30 comes along and he walks by I remember him staring us down giving us a dirty look with his eyes and his lip, he has tan pants on, a black colored shirt, black shoes, a head set on and a name tag that said Manager Brown. We decided we should leave soon since it was already one o’clock and they were closed but my family had a great time at Fridays that night even though we got death stairs at us by the manager.

Everyone in this world has a family get together for their special day. I know in my family dinner is what everyone aims for because it’s about 6 o'clock at night that my family has their free time and are done with their work day. For everyone’s birthday in my family the birthday person gets to pick wherever they want to go out to eat – Fridays, Hilltop, Not Your Average Joes, the 99, Fire and Ice and Texas Rhode House. My whole family goes to the gathering and brings their presents. We are in the restaurant longer than expected, we have so much to catch up on and talk about by the end of the night the owner is kicking us out of the restaurant. It is quite funny when they have to kick someone out because they are staying too long. Every birthday morning my family makes phone calls to the birthday girl or boy. It is the happy birthday song either over phone or on a voice mail and then I love you's and they send us birthday wishes. And it is very typical in my family to get birthday cards via mail from the people who are too far away to spend the day with us.


Three months later it is finally time to celebrate my birthday. I love when it’s my birthday - It’s the best day ever. That is the only day I am allowed to eat the best cake in the world for breakfast, my mom is the best at making cakes; they are so delicious and moist. She even makes the frosting from scratch. Oh how I love my parents so much. My mom makes me chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, it is like heaven, there is a layer of chocolate cake, then a layer of vanilla frosting then a layer of chocolate cake then the whole cake covered in frosting. In the morning I remember coming downstairs and my mom asking me after she screamed happy birthday, "Where do you want to go to eat tonight?"
"I don't know let me think about it for a while, there are too many decisions" I said in a groggy tired voice.
"Okay well you let me know it's your special day" she said with a warming smile.

For my birthday I choose to go to Not Your Average Joes because my mom and I get emails from them saying if you come in for your birthday with the coupon you get a free dinner and dessert. Well since my mom and I have birthdays that are only three days apart we go there for dinner; we celebrate the two birthdays together. Only difference with our birthdays is there is no cake smashing. I love sharing my birthday with my mommy’s birthday because I love her so much, our whole family goes out to dinner just like for all the other birthdays but it is so funny because I always order the same thing on my birthday - I always get the steak tips medium well with mashed potatoes and string beans. For dessert I get the peanut butter thing which comes with caramel and hot fudge you can drip over the peanut butter ice cream cake with chunks of chocolate in it and a layer of Oreo cookies crumbled over the top of it. My brother got a piece and I stared him down because I know he can hold a grudge, especially after I smashed his cake in his face. I was waiting for him to get up and use the bathroom but actually shove the cake in my face. Thankfully he didn't do so. I am so generous, and give my mom the hot fudge they give me with my cake because I don’t like it and she loves hot fudge. I figured hot fudge was enough of a birthday present for her - cheap and affordable. My mom and I are always so happy that we get to be with our whole entire family to celebrate our birthdays. The weird fact about my mom's birthday is she has kept turning 39 for the last 10 years - must be afraid to hit a midlife crisis. Needless to say we always have a good time sharing our special day together.

Obviously birthdays are the most important celebrations in every family. Birthdays are the one event that my family gets to spend the day together. It is not that often we get together but when we do it’s usually for birthdays. Especially my family, we get together for a few hours and celebrate the new age. To me, my Mom and Dad’s birthday are the most important to me; after all they did raise me. I knew my Dad’s birthday was coming up and usually I am really bad at remembering who was born when, it’s not even like my family is huge. It just must be my memory is going at a young age.

During the morning of July 29th I decided I would start shopping for my Dad, because I knew his birthday was coming up. My first attempt was at the mall, I looked in the entire comic store because my Dad is a really comical guy I wanted a funny gift. I tried Newbury comics and Spencer’s but there was nothing that really caught my eye. As we know both of those stores can carry some inappropriate gifting ideas. So I got back in my car and drove over to a plaza that has Barnes and Nobles, Five Below and a few more small shops and restaurants. I walked into Five Below knowing they carry many different products for cheap, and being an upcoming college student that was just around my budget. I’m walking through the store and I find nothing that my Dad could relate to, I am sure he didn’t want a shirt with My Little Pony on it or bracelets and headbands. Needless to say I left that store abruptly because I was not celebrating a 5 year old girl’s party. My last option for this shopping trip was to walk into Barnes and Nobles. I really didn’t know what type of gift I wanted for my dad, I just knew I wanted him to laugh. I mean my Dad had to be pretty special because during my summer vacation I walked into a bookstore. My journey begins looking at books and the little toys they have in Barnes and Nobles. Then the idea hopped into my head like a bunny. I would get my Dad a book of jokes. I mean his favorite thing to do is tell jokes and make everyone laugh at our get togethers. He even makes my friends laugh. Anyway, out of the corner of my eye I had seen the man in a beige Barnes and Noble shirt and made my way to him quickly. I asked “Where do you keep all the joke books?”
“Well I have to head over there so I can walk and direct you over there”, he kindly said to me with a smile. He walked me over and let me do my thing. I was ripping through the books trying to find the best joke book for my Dad. Finally I found one that had jokes for older folks - it was perfect it had jokes about golf, and being over the hill. So on and so forth. I paid and I went home.

My mom wanted me home for dinner that night so that’s exactly where I went. We were all eating in the kitchen just hanging out and talking about our day, after dinner my Dad went to go watch TV, so I seized my opportunity to talk to my mom alone. I looked at her and said “Are we going out to eat Wednesday or are we just having cake and dinner at home?”
She looked at me really confused and said “you can do whatever you want Wednesday”, she was almost questioning herself.
“Well aren’t we going to do something for Dad’s birthday” trying to make it clear what I was asking.
“Rebecca, your father’s birthday is October 1st not August 1st.” She giggled as I stared at her puzzled.
“Well can I at least go give him his gift?” That was my only reaction to the fact that I was two months early with my Dad’s birthday present. It’s a good thing I didn’t plan a surprise party, he would have been more confused than surprised. Like I said I am very forgetful so after I figured out I was a little early I just simply hid the book in my room for his upcoming birthday in October.

On October 1st I woke up and right away called my dad. I couldn’t wait to yell HAPPY BIRTHDAY through the phone. He was happy and excited I called him because I am at college and I never usually call my parents. My mom was thankful that I didn’t forget it was his birthday. After my classes was over I drove back to Malden from Salem and we all had a special dinner together.