The Way I Used to Be brought me back to the beginning of high school. Except for this time around, I was in the life of Eden. The story is all told from Eden’s perspective, so as a reader you really get a glimpse as to what it must have felt like to be her. It almost created a relationship with Eden as a reader because you were so in depth into her emotions and thoughts. 

Starting off with freshman year, she experienced what no high schooler should ever have to deal with: sexual assault. Year after year her trauma followed her through relationships with friends, boyfriends, and even family members. The story is split into 4 different parts, each reliving a year of her high school career. 

I loved how the author, Amber Smith, made it feel like I was living Eden’s life. She wrote the story in first person, making it feel as if I was the one dealing with Eden’s struggles. By describing Eden’s experiences in depth, I was able to imagine what she was going through, which eventually allowed me to decide what I would do if I were Eden. The entire book was very thought-provoking, sometimes to the point where I had to set it down to really understand the depths of what was actually happening.

Additionally, the craft that the author used caused me to feel strong emotions just as Eden may have felt. It really opened my eyes to how many of the topics that were touched on in the book are very real for many people, likely even students in my classes. Her experiences helped me understand that everyone has different pasts, so it is important to be respectful to everyone.

Along with the emotions of the trauma, drama and heartbreak also added to Eden’s complex life. Between her first love and her many crushes, she struggled to truly find who was best for her. Not only that, but she had to show strength through broken friendships and rebuilding relationships. Through it all, she kept her deepest secret to herself, and fought for herself, so she could overcome struggle.

Overall, this book was everything I wanted and more. I loved it all: the drama, the heartbreak, the real-life connections, and the emotions really made the story come together. However, at some points in the middle of the book, it was very easy to put down because of the loss of emotion or action happening. And sometimes, it got a little repetitive, but it was understandable because life isn’t always that exciting, and it was a story explaining her life, after all. Not that I would have stopped reading—I am so glad that I continued because the ending, a huge relief, is worth every bit of boredom I might have had. In the end, I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning more about the impacts of sexual assault and/or wants to read a deep, but also interesting book about the complexities of a highschool student.