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To Live
The hanging noose, the swinging pendulum
I watched her body fall onto the floor
To put her down was all my maximum
But shadows tell me “Could have done much more”
Her screams and cries do scratch my back at night
I can’t live life when Life is living dead
Forgive myself is not a path in sight
Her wings are spreading does it shine or shred?
But voices in my head ‘sit real or fake?
The spears it sends will not go through my chest
She wouldn’t want me dying for her sake
So, there’s no point for me to be depressed
Regret and grief will be my fuel to fly
So I can rise above the sullen light
This poem describes the event of a girl who committed suicide. The poem I chose to write a reflection on is the sonnet “To Live”, which focuses on the idea of forgiving yourself and dealing with grief. The poem describes the father long after the death of his daughter and felt that he could have saved her from suicide. He continues to feel that it was all his fault and he start having trouble going though his normal life. At the Volta of the poem, he starts to realize that being depressed and grieving over the lose of his daughter will not do her any good, so he uses that feeling of helplessness and regret to make himself a better man. This poem is written in the structure of English sonnets, where the first two quatrain introduces the problem of the poem in a dark tone, using world choices with negative connotation such as shadows, night, and dead. The third quatrain and the last rhyming couplet present a turning point of the poem where the tone changes for the brighter side using words with more positive connotation such as sky and light. In the poem, I used metaphor mainly to present a clearer idea to the reader. At the first line, it says “A hanging noose, a swinging pendulum”. This line compares a noose to the movement of a pendulum which swings side to side. The metaphor is used to show how the dead body of the girl was just dropped onto the floor when her father saw her, further proving how he felt that he was so close to saving the girl. At line 6, it says “I can’t live life when life is living dead”. This line uses metaphor to compare life to the living dead, which is an allusion to the zombie movie franchise night of the living dead. Literary elements are used here to explain how the father is having depressing thoughts and felt that his life has already ended with the death of the girl. Alliteration is also used at the same line with the letter L to make the line more memorable. At line 5, where it says, “Her screams and cries do scratch my back at night”, personification is used to describe how he is hearing voices from his daughter, and it is tormenting him. Lastly, from line 9-10, “But voices in my head ‘sit real or fake? / The spears it sends will not go through my chest”, personification is used to show how the voices in his head are spewing hurtful words at him. Theses two lines is the turning point that changes the atmosphere of the poem to a more positive tone. I hope that the readers will understand from this poem that guilt and grief from someone else’s tragedy can affect others as well, and that forgiving ourselves is the first step to turn all our regrets into motivation.