i wanted to run as far as i could. until i realized any distance wouldnt be enough. i would never fully be far enough from this place & the people associated with it. i ran for awhile & soon after i sat. while looking behind me i realized i would soon have to go back. the sun shown on me & the roads clear. i began to understand, there is no place for me here. the screams & punches all felt so right. but i guess everyone knew what was wrong by the end of the night. forgiven, not even close. forgotten maybe so. my words deflect of off everything i used to know. maybe they're all right. maybe im wrong. but if that was the case i wouldnt be writing this song. for i would feel complete & not alone. deep underneath the covers i dont move a bone. my hands shake in snapping ways while my eyes glaze over my pill displays. it wouldnt be enough even if i tried, nothing could save me while my baby face cried. i wept for hours, i wept for days. thinking that maybe id find some way. to get over my pain, heartbreak & distress. but what i couldnt comprehend was that i was the one who made this mess.