I remember when I signed up the first time?
Saying this is it, I've got an email, awesome!
I hadn’t used you in a day?
When you, said you, need more space, what?!

Then I sign back on again and say
I can’t believe I made it without email today!
Trust me, that’s the worst mistake I ever made, I say,
“I love it,” I go back on, then more spam, “I hate it.”

Oooh – I signed off again last night?
But oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you?
I am never ever ever going back to email?
I am never ever ever going back to email
I’ll go back to texting my
Friends who actually talk to me?
But I am never ever ever ever going back to email!?
Like ever...??

I'm really gonna miss emailing my mom
Guess I, just need to get her the new Droid
And set her up with texting, tell her forget email -
Oh look, her phone’s much cooler than mine!

Oooh – I signed off again last night?
But oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you?
I am never ever ever going back to email?
I am never ever ever going back to email
I’ll go back to texting my
Friends who actually talk to me?
But I am never ever ever ever going back to email!

I used to think, that I, would use email forever ever ever?
But I didn’t know what spam email was..?

Huh? I signed on and it said I won free money?
And I’m like, what, is this like real? Oh my god! What?
NOOOOOOO!

Oooh – I signed off again last night?
But oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you?
I am never ever ever going back to email?
I am never ever ever going back to email
I’ll go back to texting my
Friends who actually talk to me?
But I am never ever ever ever going back to email!

I, oooh, oooh, never using email!
Oh, I hate spam email!
I’ll go back to texting my
Friends who talk to me?
But I am never ever ever ever going back to email!