Hello? | Teen Ink

Hello?

October 13, 2010
By Lacee Jansson BRONZE, Eaton, Colorado
Lacee Jansson BRONZE, Eaton, Colorado
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Will you ever really know I’m there?
Will you ever really see me stare?
I want to keep looking at you
Cause the more I do it gets me through

What can I do, what can I say
Anything you’d do would make my day
What can I do to make you know?
I want to be your friend, not your foe

You don’t know what it does to me
When you smile, it makes me free
Your laugh triggers straight to the heart
If you haven’t caught on, you aren’t very smart

I want to know what’s really inside
And when I do I wanna collide
That will make us come together
We’ll float away, light as a feather

Tell me when you find what you’re looking for
Cause if it’s me, that’ll make me want even more
But for now, I guess I can wait
For soon to be, hopefully, my fate


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This article has 4 comments.


on Oct. 31 2010 at 6:25 am
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's mouth...it will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

The song has a lot of potential, but the rhyme scheme is rather forced and the metaphors are extremely undeveloped. It could be way better. Sorry if I sound to harsh, this is just my opinion.

on Oct. 29 2010 at 7:33 pm
Wild_Rebel_Rose DIAMOND, Somerset, Wisconsin
51 articles 4 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are, and say what you feel, becuase those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss

This is GOOD! Keep writing.

on Oct. 29 2010 at 3:57 pm
bricheese23 SILVER, Tucson, Arizona
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live like your at the bottom, even if your a the top" - Nick Jonas

I can tottaly realte to these lyrics, I love lyrics that are written from the heart! :)

on Oct. 27 2010 at 10:39 am
Wow! This is like OMG! I Love it! Definitely should be numba one!