February 9th again
Woken from a sleepless night
these dreams show it’s all pretend
The snow stained the path, snowflakes from the past
Covering the grass on which you walked, my friend

Taken, from my peace of mind
Sunset in the sky, clouds are passing by
As I dream of you
Wishing I’d been by your side, why didn’t I pry?
To see why you were alone on such a night
But time and time again, even if I asked
How would I know what I was told was right?

These memories of you, so warm and true
Ringing in my head like a catchy tune
Tears creep in my eyes, blinded by the sky
Beautiful and blue, such a lovely hue
Is this really how I see you?

As they came through, thoughts of me and you
When you told me you were leaving that night
Where did you go? I didn’t care to know
But it was a crucial time and moment
The winter fun flew away.
Like the flurries on that day.
But also the same as you, stranded on that plane
I refuse to come to peace, the feelings I won’t cease
The summer days fly by and then your season comes full of lies
leaving me at a loss for words

Wondering, why you left me behind
I saw it in your eyes, as you explained carefully
That you would be back soon, hopefully by noon
As the stars twinkled atop my house

I saw it on the news, the plane was flying low
Where did all the previous hours go?
Shock, it filled my soul as my blood ran cold
When they identified you
Not knowing what to do, I said I’d be there too
But is that really worth all the effort?

I packed all of my bags, realizing it won’t last
There’s nothing to recover you
As much as I’d like to bring you back
Memories from the past
say this was your fault, and not mine too

Why was it you and not me? Questions left to be
Because I already knew the answer
As we burned through our youth, the trouble was always you
Looking for death at every twist and turn
Is there a reason you couldn’t sit with us?
The friends that we’d all trust?
Or was there something tugging
A need for you to go? A place you needed to know?
You couldn’t be happy with what you had?

I knew it in my heart, that you could not be stopped
It was engraved into your fate
There was nothing left to change, even when you turned the page
To our favorite childhood book.
When you looked to us, with that glare of such distrust
Our group would never be the same.

These winter days were the worst, always you first
To have anything we wished for together
Our friends wouldn’t stand for it, someone always threw a fit
Because of your overly fed entitlement
Somehow you always got your way, you had a reason for us to stay
Yet then some of us couldn’t take it anymore

Then the time hit, the time for us to split
It was the end the line
But for some reason I, wanted you, by my side
And that was the worst decision I could have ever made.