My Judgemental Self | Teen Ink

My Judgemental Self

December 9, 2022
By StrongMama GOLD, New Braunfels, Texas
StrongMama GOLD, New Braunfels, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything I need to be is me because that is all I've ever been.


Why am I so different?

Why don't I look like all the other girls? 

Why can't I be pretty? 

Why is it so hard to be kind?

Why can't I just be myself? 

Why can't I just pretend I don't hear the voices pushing me down?

Why don't I belong?

Why am I the outcast?

Why does everyone else have a place in this world except for me?

Why do I feel so different? 

Everyone says It's cause I'm... unique... but I just don't see it.

I'm ugly and weird, I get pushed around and when I try to stand up I'm dragged back down

I feel like I'm playing a game of cat and mouse one minute I'm on top like a puppet master, then suddenly I'm trapped and someone's taken back the strings.

I doubt anyone feels my pain.

I doubt anyone else wishes they could be blown away into a pile of dust.

Forgotten with the wind.

I wish I was normal.

I wish I wasn't weird.

I wish.

I just wish.

If I ever acted like myself how many more rumors would spread 

How many more lies would be told?

Will I ever be accepted by this cruel world?

If only the world could bend at my will, no one would ever judge me again.

I'd be everything my family wants me to be.

I wouldn't be a failure.

I wouldn't be an outcast 

I wouldn't have to hide behind this mask

Or maybe I could just stay invisible and unnoticed.

Hideaway from the world and shield my face.

I've tried opening up to the world but it has rejected me.

So why try anyway I'm alone and I should accept it. 

Shouldn't I.                                                                             

Why do I feel this way?

Why can't I be invisible?

Why can't I just disappear, vanish into thin air?

Why does life have to be so cruel?

Why was I born anyway?

All I did was mess things up?

All I did was cause everyone's world to erupt.

Why am I so different?


The author's comments:

I was at a really low point of my life and this song helped me cope.


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This article has 1 comment.


on Dec. 29 2022 at 10:37 am
maryannn PLATINUM, Sacramento, California
27 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"don't let it define you"

lovely