She was | Teen Ink

She was

October 21, 2022
By LotsOfChocolateCherries PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
LotsOfChocolateCherries PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
26 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."


She was reckless

She was messy

She got hurt and better

She got bruised and healed

She was never stuck


Now the fire is gone

The spark has died

I’m happier now

But I miss being myself.


Oh, what I’d give

To be that imperfect girl again


She was herself

She wasn’t exactly happy

But she knew where she was going

In her life


Now I’m someone else

But happy in the moment.

But the future… It seems dark.

This isn’t my life.


Now the fire is gone

The spark has died

I’m happier now

But I miss being myself.


Oh, what I’d give

To be that imperfect girl again


She’s gone

Her funeral held long ago

When I traded my soul

Just to belong.


Just to carve myself into someone new

No, this isn’t what I wanted.

I want to start over

And rewrite my story

 

I'd trade it all

Just to bring back the light in her eyes

That saw the world in full color

While crying


I miss the girl I was

Who knew how to be herself

But for now I’ll just be happy

Being happy


The author's comments:

I feel really confused right now. I feel happier and have less anxiety than I used to, but I don't feel like myself. But at the same time, I feel more like myself than I ever have.

I definitely miss who I used to be, but I wasn't exactly happy. I don't know, I'm confused. I know who I am, but I don't. I'm happy, but I'm not.

It's hard to put into words. Ya know?


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