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How could you?
Scrawny, irreverent, obnoxiously hardworking,
Never relinquishing,
I hated you,
Hated the way you always vied for first,
Hated the way you failed to acknowledge my superiority,
I cursed,
My anger burst,
Became wildly irrational,
Whenever you were near.
Now, I know I feared you.
Couldn’t help keeping an eye on you,
With every prolonged gaze,
With each peripheral view,
I saw you getting better.
Becoming even scarier.
A threat of close vicinity,
who didn’t,
And seemingly couldn’t learn how to surrender.
That’s the image of you I’ve ingrained into the depths of my mind,
So why did you decide to surrender that night?,
To take your own life,
And act as if you were a kind, wise, benevolent being who prioritized others over yourself,
Where was your rage,
Where was your self-serving attitude that had allowed you to survive in a world that tried to deter you at every step,
Don’t pretend to be altruistic,
I knew you better than that,
The you I knew would have burned the world down to preserve her life,
So why did you decide to surrender that night?,
Cruel, vicious, adamant,
Red lit eyes,
Destroying everything in your path,
Believing the world to be your prize,
Believing if you fought hard enough,
Reality would shift to your sight,
That’s the image of you I’ve ingrained into the depths of my mind.
Often I wonder,
What the world would be like,
If we were less jarringly obstinate,
If we’d stayed on the same side,
Perhaps we would be ruling the empire together,
Complementing each other,
I, with rein over water,
And you with rein over fire,
I, with the power of the dragon,
To possess the lands and instate laws,
And you with the power of the phoenix,
Dispel rebellions without a pause,
Moulding our empire into the paragon of peace and stability,
Bringing a vision into tangibility.
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This piece was inspired by the ending of the Poppy War Trilogy ("The Burning God"). I binge-read the whole series over break. Rin was such a capricious character, which made her so much more relatable and the book unpredictable.