I find myself staring at the wall.
Wondering if this is real. Is it's just a dream? A nightmare?
I keep on beating myself up, and I wonder why did I ever have to fall?
Every time I open my door hoping that you are right there.
 
Dealing with a heart full of mixed feelings,
because it feels like I was the only one who put up a fight.
I hate you for that. It feels like all along what we had was fake.
At the same time, I was alone in the dark, but you were the light.
 
I'm the one who cries every time I feel the world caving in,
and I no longer hear your soothing voice. 
I know that you don't ever think of me.
That my name doesn't even cross your mind, but.....
...But I would stay with you if it were my choice.
 
I hate you because I love you. 
You could stab my heart in two, and people would call me crazy because I would still go back to you.
If I should up at your door would you be happy or would tell me to go?
 
I never got to say goodbye.
The last thing I heard from you was "I love you and without you I would die"
I know that we didn't end by choice it was forced on us, but I hate you because I love you.
I hate that I love you because I can't have you. Since I can't have you, I have to hate you.