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The Night Sky
May 12, 2013
An endless, dark void
Shimmering, gleaming diamonds
Cover its surface
The stunning night sky
© Steve S., Marblehead, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 26 comments.
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 31 2013 at 5:16 am
Thank you :D
RoyalCorona SILVER said...
on May. 30 2013 at 4:29 pm
Wow! This is a great picture, it makes me love night even more!!
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 30 2013 at 9:47 am
Thank you :)
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on May. 28 2013 at 2:48 pm
Very interesting. Its good!
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 27 2013 at 2:46 am
Thank you :) :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 27 2013 at 2:46 am
Thank you so much :D
My first impression of this poem is that your ideas are incredibly unique! First of all, in line one you describe the sky as being a "dark void" which stands in stark contrast to the popular belief that the sky is a big, happy, open place. That is the first quirk to the poem. Second of all, the mood of the piece drastically changes when you describe the stars and such as being "shimmering and gleaming diamonds." This pretty much immediately projects a courageous, bright sense to the work because, you know- who doesn't like diamonds? Then, the last line in the poem kind of returns the reader to a sort of middle ground... you say "the stunning night sky." I feel that this coda, in a sense, is describing the sky as being not AMMMAZZING but not awful. Therefore, it is a middle ground between the two extremes touched upon in your work. That is what makes this poem so odd (in a good way of course!). You caused the reader to explore the three different perspectives of emotion in only 13 words. So, CONGRATS! Great job on the poem... it's an incredible, short but sweet piece! Write on~!!!
Rebecca.xx BRONZE said...
on May. 26 2013 at 5:35 pm
Rather different, but in a good way. I liked it!
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 25 2013 at 4:51 am
Thank you :D
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND said...
on May. 24 2013 at 8:01 pm
I like the symbolism here! I’ve never seen a haiku done with the extra line like that before, but it was very interesting and you made it work well. :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 21 2013 at 1:34 pm
ahahahh thank you :D
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 20 2013 at 3:21 am
Dragonsandthree, thank you :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 20 2013 at 2:40 am
Thank you :D
Wings10FeetTall GOLD said...
on May. 19 2013 at 4:08 pm
I like it. I do however, dislike the way that it was so short. But, like IDani-IBeauty said, I'm also not a big fan of haikus.
iDani-iBeauty SILVER said...
on May. 18 2013 at 12:56 am
- I Liked It ! I Do Agree With The Other Comments Saying It Ended Abruptly But I Was Never Really A Fan Of Haikus Anyways . I Did Like How You Put So Much Imagery into it . Good Job, Keep Up The Good Work !
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 17 2013 at 3:53 pm
Thank you so much :D
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments
Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. <br /> - Maya Angelou <br /> When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out<br /> The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay<br /> If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven<br /> And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel