Untitled | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Poetry
  3. Haiku
  4. Untitled

Untitled

November 18, 2012
By perks123 GOLD, Scarsdale, New York
More by this author
perks123 GOLD, Scarsdale, New York
13 articles 3 photos 0 comments
View profile

Floating through a warm
Comforter made out of wisps
Of sweet whipped cream. Peace

© Sarah W., Fremont, CA

Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Poetry
Texas Fun
By Dylan Bostick BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
Dylan Bostick BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Summer Nights
By Distraction1 BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
Distraction1 BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Long Ride
By John McDonald BRONZE
Wolfforth, Texas
John McDonald BRONZE, Wolfforth, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
High School Football
By WhiteChocolate15 BRONZE
Wolfforth, Texas
WhiteChocolate15 BRONZE, Wolfforth, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Like the Church Bells
By Sw33t_M3cA BRONZE
Virgin Islands, Other
Sw33t_M3cA BRONZE, Virgin Islands, Other
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Irregular people are only irregular because regular is out-dated" " Make Moments, Last Be Exciting"

View profile
Poetry
Seasons
By Brittaner DIAMOND
Edenton, North Carolina
Brittaner DIAMOND, Edenton, North Carolina
51 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;words are just songs without the corny elevator music behind them&quot; <br /> -Me (random thought)

View profile

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 1 comment.

TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 25 2012 at 12:02 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Never fear shadows. They simply mean there&#039;s a light shining somewhere nearby.&quot; - Unknown

View profile
You've got a great metaphor in there. However, your form is wrong. Haikus have only 3 lines with the syllable pattern 5-7-5. I recommend instead of putting "peace" at the end of the poem, title the entire piece "peace". You did an amazing job otherwise! Keep up the good work!