i am not that girl.
i am not.
so quit saying i can someday fit your expectations,
because i am not that girl.

i am not the girl who will dress up just for you.
i am not the girl who needs you to feel okay with herself.
i am not the girl who will come begging at your knees for you to stay.
i am not the girl who will settle for less, when i was given enough.
i am not the girl who will be treated like trash at the last column of the regime.
i am not the girl who will wear tight dresses, and short skirts, and excess makeup.
i am not the girl who will starve to death.
i am no silicone barbie doll.
i am not thin.
i am not beautiful.
i have a crooked smile, and nugget thighs, and no perfect athlete-legs.
i am not that girl.

i am the girl who will steal your oversized hoodies.
i am the girl who will need ice cream bowls and 90’s movies at 10 pm.
i am the girl who will indeed interrupt your sleep,
because at 2 am i feel like dying on my own grief.
i am the girl who will sing every second, even when you hate it.
i am the girl who will go for new adventures.
i am the girl who will probably kill any other girl who comes near you.
i am the girl that will get mad at you for no reason,
and expect you to figure it out,
(even when i know you’re so stupid).
i am the girl who will always crave your attention,
because you’re the last glimpse of fresh air i have.
i am the girl who will come up with random stuff.
“hey, a unicorn!”
i am the girl who will know she can be herself with you.

i don't expect you to fully know me, because i don't even know me.
i want you to be there for me.
i want to laugh, even when my eyes close up on tears,
and my loudest word will be a sigh.
and all i want you to understand is that i need you here with me
when my fears consume me till the morning comes.
all i need is you to be there for me,
when i cant be strong enough to be there for myself.