Today, as I bounced
From wall to wall of
The world wide web,
I encountered a rather
Strange problem,
Or problems.

Network connectivity problems,
To be exact.
After hours of turning on
And turning off
And turning on
And turning off
And turning on the wifi,
I began to lose hope.

I realized that for who knows
How long I would be
Disconnected from the
Happenings of the entire
Planet.

How could I otherwise occupy myself?
It’s not like people had much fun
Before the internet was born.

Just as people didn’t have too much
To talk about before Jesus was born.

Read a book?
Disgusting.

Go for a hike?
Take a hike. 

Converse with friends?
You’ve got to be kidding me.

And God forbid I would need to
stroll besides the lake, watching
the ducks paddle themselves around
in circles.

Hopefully I would never have
to resort to—

Oh look
Who finally decided
To show up.

Now I can get back
To laying in my bed
Staring at my laptop screen
For hours at a time
Doing God knows what.