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O.C.D
I have to tap seven times.
I have to do it or my family will die.
There’s a voice in my head that tells me this.
It has my voice.
It sounds like me but it’s not.
And I know the voice is probably lying
but you only have one family.
You only have one chance to keep them safe.
And what if the voice is telling the truth?
I can’t risk it.
And so I do it.
I tap seven times.
And I don’t want to, even when it tells me to do it again.
But I have to.
The stakes are too high if I don’t.
I feel trapped in my own mind
Forced to perform these
pointless
pointless
pointless
pointless
pointless
pointless
pointless things.
But I can’t stop or something terrible will happen.
At least that’s what the voice tells me.
Nothing can cage you like fear
and fear of your own voice is the worst kind.
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I tried to write about what it felt like having crippling OCD for two years.