They say it's like looking through tinted glass

dreary
tired
empty
my perception of the world was dull
and I pondered these thoughts for a time
my mind racing and working
little cogs turning
isolating
contemplating
thinking to myself
and slowly, a conclusion was reached

I would stop the pain myself
release
liberation
freedom
an end to my suffering mind
all I thought about was the benefits
a quick moment of physical pain
and everything would pass

And thus, I turned to my mother
explaining to her my plight
she was horrified by my thinking
but I didn't see quite why
for all I wanted was an end
a means of stopping the pain
but she didn't grasp the notion I had
and so
I was sent to a program
a rehabilitative one
therapeutic
this should help they said

I entered in an oneiric state
no desire to be helped
no will
no hope
no motivation to try

But slowly I got better
not by much at all
it was something
something new
a step in the right direction
whether it was the meds
or the therapy
I didn’t care
and then you appeared

I came in one day
depressed
anxious
falling in a downward spiral
a normal day indeed
and I sat down in academics
and while scanning the room for things to do
I noticed
new faces
new people
you

You caught my eye from the day I saw you first
sitting to my left
a small table we shared
each working
but I couldn't help myself
I kept glancing over
trying to admire
seeing what you were
your state of mind
as if your looks could give me that answer
but nonetheless, I tried

I wanted to know
I was almost
fascinated
for once my focus was shifted
I stopped thinking about myself
how I wanted to know more about you
how I desired to know more about you
and so
a bit later
a sheet of paper was passed
and contact information exchanged

And how happy
how delighted
how gracious fate must be
that I met you that day in the program
and now
I love you
You are my beautiful princess
all I feel is
raw
aching
almost painful
love
to the point where I miss every second you're gone
and am so joyous when
we're reunited

Those feelings of dread and fear that came before
are shadows now
and growing smaller every day
you fight with them
you are
valiant
strong
powerful
you face your own demons and still help me with mine

The day that I met you
is the day
my healing
truly begun