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Dad, I am Searching For Your Tears
10 years ago,
I remember the ring of the phone on the mantelpiece
Back when I first saw 2 am on the clock,
Your face was a sheet of blank paper, while mom’s was in tears.
2 years ago,
Your cellphone rung on the table,
I remember you picking up the call and your face was the same old shade
My sister’s face was red and mom shouldn’t be talked about
I searched the bathroom floor for stains of your tears but all I found was mine
You made me feel that men don’t have tears
But 6 months ago, when we sat at the table waiting for the call,
And it came
Your face………………….
Blank……….
He was my closest uncle.
I ran to the bathroom….
You loved him so much.
For days I tried to look for stains on your cheeks.
2 days ago,
When she left our world
I tried to see if your sculpted cheeks would show any decoloration,
For the first time I realized, how those years had caused lines on your face
But your expressions never changed
I tried to see through the mirror to find if your reflections were trapped in the bathroom mirror
But all I saw was my wet eyes
And I am still searching for your tear stains.
Mine live in these verses.
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boys do not cry? My dad lost a lot of near and dear ones and i never saw him cry. I know he cares and his loss has been tremendous but i wonder if he cries? after 16 years, i still cant control my emotions and let them out in the bathroom. i still wonder how he manages to keep a calm face even in the most adverse situations.