We weren’t even anything
But you were everything to me.
You made your choice
And that was to let things go.
You said it wasn’t planned
But you were just teasing.
I was a just a thing of the moment
A dream that you woke up from.
Looked to reality
And saw it was better if we didn’t let things be.
That was all you though.
But what about me?
What about my view of things?
I didn’t know what we were
But I was just enjoying the moments.
I didn’t let it get to me
That you never talked to me on another level.
I tried to understand and give you space
But that space drove us apart
And we built a wall up.
Don’t know how long this one will take for me to bring down.
I guess now all there is to do is to wait
And hope that you will let me in again
At least as friends and colleagues.
Counting down the days.
We only have a couple months left
And then we might not ever see each other.
I don’t want to lose you
But you weren’t mine to begin with.
So whose fault was it?
Who let go first?
Whose thoughts doomed what could be?
Because we were too afraid to be.
Only had a preview of the possibilities between you and me.
Then things fell down and the steps forward we had taken
Were untraceable as they soon became erasable
And were wiped out of our memories
Because we both turned around are started running back.
To the safety of our homes
Went back to the sanctuary I call mine
And that’s just me, myself, and my mind.
But that sanctuary soon turned into a pit of sorrow
When I realized that things were doomed.
And soon my mind became a poison to my emotions
Chained me to my regrets and didn’t let me escape.
What was once my safe place, became a prison.
My late night thoughts kept me up.
Couldn’t escape my own mind even in my dreams.
My thoughts consumed me
Just full of you and me
And of what I hoped for things to be.
But that was just a joke
My mind has been playing tricks on me.
My heart’s been misleading me.
Confusing me.
Wasn’t sure what I wanted
But now that I lost it
Everything becomes clear.
The truth comes out
And we realize that this could never be.
We were always doomed to the confines of the walls built by our thoughts
Chained to what our fate is.
Caged in.
Heart.
Mind.
Body.
Soul.
All lost
Never to be found.
Death got to them
So now I don’t know what or where they are.
No more existence
Or reason of being.
Nothing more than a dead soul without a place or purpose
Just to wander the Earth
Doomed to all eternity stuck here
With emptiness and my loneliness as my only companion.