I guess I lost you around the time I lost my mind and to be completely honest I don’t know which was more painful.
I don’t know which is worse waking up wishing that I were dead or knowing you won’t be there to tell me you were glad I’m not.
I don’t know which is harder feeling like a stranger in my own body or looking at you and not recognizing the person you’ve become.
I don’t know which hurt me more that day the blade I dragged across my skin or our final messages glowing in little letters on my phone.
I don’t know which it was that pushed me into the darkness and sent me down this endless spiral of self hate.
What I do know is this: in the end it won’t matter which one killed me
all that matters is that it did.