My loneliest  class
a day or so after christmas break
I decided to sit in the front of the class, on the first day of school, to have some isolation from everyone.
It almost worked,
but one of the goth/emo/whatever they are kids sits in next to me.
His friends have filled the seats behind us, and he was pushed next to me
It’s been months since then, and we don’t know each other, by mutual choice I assume
I feel as lonely as ever on the gray january day.
But I’m about to feel a little less so
Today he brings a girl that fits into his assigned clique as well as he does.
They talk, most likely because they know each other well
I stay silent, because that is what I do
conversation is normal between them at first, but then I sense him becoming more open with her
He relays a sad story of how his friends left him alone, that they could see a movie that he wouldn’t have been allowed in.
He apparently drank himself into forgetting it for a while.
She sounds concerned at his account, but unsurprised.
I stay silent.
He is sad, he needs someone.
I am silent.
His pain is similar to mine, I think.
But more exacerbated by the fact that his pain is actually somehow justified.
While mine is simple lazy social incompetence
But he has someone to tell his pain to
While all I’ve given myself is words and paper.
Because I’ve made a vow
to stay silent