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Traveler MAG
February 3, 2009
I have traveled the spine of the coast
cracked
rough
curved like a turtle’s shell
Trekked over mountains
like sharp incisors
and then across the soft bulge of the prairie’s belly
swollen with disease
Walked through canyons’
cracks on the massive skull of the desert
© Garrett C., Schenectady, NY
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This article has 33 comments.
JosephEdward BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 11:20 am
Great job! It gave good descriptive words as well as metaphors. However I didnt really get what you were trying to tell the reader.
snatcher said...
on Jan. 28 2011 at 2:00 am
This is wonderful. I love the metaphors and the textures and the adventure.
Nyrihaz said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 7:13 pm
Fantastic descriptions here. It kinds of feel... like you are going to tell me something and never say it; but the way you paint a picture with your words are worth the open (or never there) ending.
Continue Writing =]
Continue Writing =]
book-keeper26 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 12:43 pm
the symbolism was nice but... what were you even trying to tell me, as the reader? i got no definative voice/emotion from this.
noname37014 said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 9:42 am
It's a great poem, with amazing descriptions, I would've liked a more satisfying ending
SolvoAnimus BRONZE said...
on Mar. 19 2010 at 3:23 am
this is nothing but pure inspiration for me....
Not the Words, but the content...
I mean...nature is the shiyza..
Not the Words, but the content...
I mean...nature is the shiyza..
sonnysulouff BRONZE said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 8:00 pm
Short, sweet, but really makes an impact. Awesome.
Tangnefedd said...
on Nov. 14 2009 at 12:23 pm
The eerie description of the Earth as a famished, sickening body ("prairie's belly/swollen with disease") is bold and effective...and the juxtaposition of the traveler is a fascinating relationship...
Poet_in_Motion PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 14 2009 at 10:33 am
Lovely. :)
Heather said...
on Nov. 13 2009 at 1:53 am
Haha--no, I'm hoping that he'll become the first Alex!
NinaFarryn SILVER said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 8:20 pm
This is fantastic! I've been to the grand canyon, the way you descibe it makes such a vivid mental picture....
Great job!
Great job!
colliganc said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 7:44 pm
This poem had great description. I felt like I was standing at the end of the Grand Canyon looking at how it cuves like a turtle's shell. When you say " and then across the soft bulge of the prairie's belly" I think of it as how beep and long the canyon is. You also state "cracks on the massive skull of the dessert" the canyon being a massive skull from long ago with so much history to it. I relate to this poem so well because i have traveled to the Grand Canyon and it brings back so many wonderful memories. One day I hope I can go back because the caynon is so amazing. You did a great job.
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 16 2009 at 2:42 am
This was VERY inspiring to me! I loved it! I loved how you used body parts: Skull belly incisors spine turtles shell... LOVED IT! Very good comparison! Good luck with furthur writing!
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