All But Gone | Teen Ink

All But Gone

September 8, 2015
By SwantonTwist BRONZE, Brookings, South Dakota
SwantonTwist BRONZE, Brookings, South Dakota
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"If you smoke, you die. If you do drugs, you die. If you drink, you die. What does it matter, if in the end we all die anyway?"


Yet again it hits me , like a cold, bitter rain pouring down. The bad days are long past, and a bright and blinding future I've found. But it still sits in the back of my mind. Every sweet moment is tainted. I never imagined at the thought of you I would feel nothing but raw and passionate hatred. Your memory stings, and never fails to bring hopeless tears to my burnt out eyes. Before you, my world was simply meaningless, a dull, hopeless shade of gray. The flicker of color that was us burned out amongst the constant fray. To this day I look back and see just how blissfully ignorant I was. I had mistaken your mind games and manipulation for unconditional love. You hurt me, you broke me, and you bruised my very soul. I still can't help but wonder if this was your end goal. You're like a hurricane; you leave irreparable disaster in your wake. I can now see you for what you were: a terrible mistake. But I'm stronger than I've ever been, stronger than you made me. You swore I was your everything; you promised you could save me. You were a real knight in shining armor, come to change my life. For the blind faith I had in you, I paid the ultimate price. I will no longer let you hold me back; your memory will not bring me to a point of helplessness. It dawns on me now that this is how you wanted it. You wanted me broken, shaken to my very core. Then you could swoop in and save the day; of this I was so sure. The day came that you didn't; you turned you back on me. I still can't figure out why this was so surprising... The highs weren't worth their weight in gold; the lows weren't worth all the pain. You took everything I had; you destroyed every thread of confidence I managed to gain. Yet you wondered why I ended things. You wondered how I could possibly leave. Little did you know that staying was slowing killing what was left of me. The deceit was no secret, and neither of us could deny the fact that we couldn't stay together on a foundation of unkept promises and lies. Truly there was no happy ending that would have satisfied us both. Even with this realization firmly engraved into my brain, I couldn't help but hope. Though a chapter of my life is finished, another has begun. After everything I've had to endure, the person that I used to be is all but gone.


The author's comments:

As cliche as it is, my poem is about the person who first broke my heart. Honestly I hope he reads this one day and realizes exactly how much damage he did.


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