Day one

Fluttering glances
And barely there brushes.
Caught eyes
that shy away
Like you said I do from the camera.
Sun kissed cheeks in the middle of winter.
A meeting. A warm feeling.
An introduction.

Day two

Long winding roads
led to even more drawn out conversations.
With my words that you said
strung together perfectly
to sing your name like a melody.
Venturing towards the truth.
Heart beats
racing yet afloat.
Like the thoughts on our minds
Like the kisses on our lips.

Day three

Desperate clutches at bare skin
Lips bit with the confessions
I couldn't say.
But you said there was no need
you knew what I was thinking
And you loved me first anyway.
Heart sunk to thighs and toes
I was submerged in a world of you.

Day four

Our screams could be heard
down the block.
Lips no longer soft
rather stinging like the
blades in your fingertips.
Pink Floyd on the stereo
the song we deemed our own.
You threw it across the living room
crashing like the terror in my eyes.
The ones you said
you refused to look at
after what I did.
What was done,
I’ve still yet to know.

Day five

The apologetic pleas
you said
forgive me
and my chest melted right to my knees.
Love is reckless
even if it means
bloody hands.
You’re my double edged sword
that I’d gladly take a stab from.
We’ll kiss away our sins,
both red handed.
But I’ll still flinch
every time you speak too loud.

Day 6

Car in the driveway
5 minutes too late you said
dinner was ready
an hour ago
How could I be so careless?
and just like that,
the biggest blow.
One I’d somehow expected.
Open handed red slap
seared into the left side of my face.
A shock wave,
after the nuclear attack.
Hit after hit
it stung me
over and over
A single slap.

Day 7

If you didn’t make me angry
you said
I wouldn’t do this.
You face a bruised girl
a constellation of tough love
on her back
her thighs
the very ones you once craved.
Now the canvas for your twisted artwork.
A numbing feeling
where a heart once ran free.
A single question,
why do you do this to me?

Day 8

Hospital bed,
you said
I fell down a staircase
when the nurses ask what happened.
The breath caught in my throat
when they interrogate my eyes
for affirmation.
A stern glare
burns into my chest
like your hands once did.
A simple nod. A conformation.
And all is well.

Day 9

I f***ing love you
you said
but no one else can have you
As you finger the trigger
a shaky hand.
On my knees,
secretly pleading
you’ll do it.
Because it hurts too much to despise
the one you adore.
The same person who once called you his girl
who made you scream with delight
who looked at you
like you held the secrets of the universe.
But this isn’t beautiful
and this isn’t a Hollywood
toxic love.
It’s hate,
that’s all there is in your dead eyes.
So I beg you,
Pull the trigger.
Kill me,
Please.
But you never did do it.
Not when I asked nicely.

Day 10

I find you at the window
like a lost boy looking for home.
You did this to me
you said
right before you fall
into a pool of your own blood on the floor.
Fingers intertwined
one last time.
Now tainted with your fresh wound,
and the tears fall
like daggers on my skin
not because I love you.
But because I once did.
You once made my years
flash by like days
But now I’m no better than you.
You broke more than bones
and cut more than flesh.
You tore me open
with your favorite weapon.
You said
You’d love me until the day you died,
once whispered between bedroom sheets.
So I have a single question,
tell me was it true?
Do you still love me?