Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice | Teen Ink

Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice MAG

January 28, 2009
By Megan Buckner BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
Megan Buckner BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

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This article has 276 comments.

on Feb. 5 2011 at 2:38 pm
PerfectMGymnast DIAMOND, Parker, Colorado
57 articles 25 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't leap you'lll never know what it's like to fly"

great poem!! it was really funny!!!

on Feb. 5 2011 at 10:00 am
WerewolfWriting BRONZE, Eerie, Nevada
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not about the breaths we take but about the people who take our breath away."

Oh jeez, this was so funny! XD

on Feb. 5 2011 at 5:09 am
DarknessForever13 SILVER, Gainesville, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
Quoth the Raven: "Nevermore!"
"What's right isn't always popular, but what's popular isn't always right." - Unknown

Wicked, man!! This was hilarious, ROFLMAO!! keep writing, if you can, or if you don't mind, could you please check out my two newest articles? They are "Sister", and "No one would think.". Ratings, and comment welcome. :-)

(This sounds like my brother's previous marriges)

Fran94 SILVER said...
on Jan. 17 2011 at 2:23 pm
Fran94 SILVER, Hayward, California
8 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you are content with being yourself and never compete or compare, everyone will respect you."

This is a really good poem! Very vivid and realistic! I get this feeling that you feel sarcastic or cynical about the fight. Although, I could be wrong. I love the details!

on Jan. 15 2011 at 2:02 am
lyrical_assassin SILVER, Dubai, Other
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments
What I loved about this ... oddly enough, is those details you added ... it painted a very vivid picture of the fight going on. Brilliant.

coly33 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 14 2011 at 8:51 pm
coly33 BRONZE, Lyndhurst, New Jersey
4 articles 0 photos 76 comments

ohhh not bad and haha the toaster fo' some reason tht sounds funny tht she throw the toaster!

poor fish they died from a flying toaster!!!


on Jan. 14 2011 at 8:01 pm
KunaiNinjaFighter SILVER, Monticello, Arkansas
7 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Think left and thing right, Think low and Think High, Oh the thinks you can think up, if only you try!" Dr. Suess oh and "Two things are infinite: The Universe and Human Stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.'- Albert Einstein

NUUU~! NOT THE TOASTER! Good poem btw.

on Jan. 14 2011 at 7:29 pm
BelleVie11 BRONZE, Ladson, South Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Although it is raining outside... Remember, the sun is always behind the clouds.

In reading this poem, I felt bias. Obviously there is an antagonist and it is clear. But I admire your description of the fight with such reality! Very good job, keep up the good work!

ummmmm said...
on Jan. 14 2011 at 2:28 pm
good job you really are a good writer i like toasters

Nick121 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 14 2011 at 8:07 am
Nick121 BRONZE, Manhasset, New York
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan

that was great =]

on Dec. 8 2010 at 2:48 pm
NeverSayShhh SILVER, Two Rivers, Wisconsin
9 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"i dont think your beautiful, i think your beyond it\" [lil wayne]

good job =]

on Dec. 1 2010 at 11:54 am
Love, love, LOVE it!! Keep writing!!!!

on Dec. 1 2010 at 11:53 am
Love, love, LOVE it! Keep writing!!!!

Nyrihaz said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 10:37 am
Nyrihaz, Isabela, Other
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Listen to the screams a silent room makes"

This is very good. The details make the poem funny at points, making you really be there, on the scene. The narrator seems used to the fights, almost distracted, far away, with a casual, almost sarcastic tone to the whole thing—is hard to pull such an objective voice and keep the emotions there. Great job! I really like it. All the metaphors and, again I say, the details. It’s like she’s pushing her to push him… Very interesting story to the poem. Nice =]

on Dec. 1 2010 at 7:51 am
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)

im not one for poetry, but i think this one is fantastic! u are such a great poet, and i liked the word choice and (i know everyone is saying this, but im gonna say it again) the way you put in those small details that made the story that much funnier :) good job, and keep writing!


and if anyone has time, please, check out some of my work

on Dec. 1 2010 at 7:40 am
xXxLovelyEurixXx GOLD, Brandon, Florida
11 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.” ~ Daisy Buchanan - The Great Gatsby

I love this. You seem almost amused by her rage, as I'm sure you were used to it. I, myself, have never gotten into a fight that involved throwing things, or harming the innocent fishes, but there is a first for everything. I love the sensory details. Truly a favourite. [: Looking into your other pieces!!


Keep writing.


Xoxo, Euri

LunaLives GOLD said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 7:25 pm
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me "Life is a choice and death is a decision"-Lil Wayne

WOW! Very interesting. I hope I never do any thing like that. Oh wait... to late. Haha.

on Nov. 29 2010 at 1:23 am
RedpillBluepill, East Brunswick, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Well this isn't really a poem. The line breaks do nothing for it, but it's well-written. The storm in her eyes metaphor was cool.

Melody777 GOLD said...
on Nov. 9 2010 at 3:50 pm
Melody777 GOLD, Tonasket, Washington
17 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."

I like how distant you seem from this, almost as if you are just a bystander, it gives it a really unique perspective!

on Oct. 24 2010 at 3:01 pm
WriterFighter PLATINUM, Wilsonville, Other
32 articles 3 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
*Women and men are very different, but not when it comes down to their heart

You've got a very interresting choice of words. Whenever I writting poems, I try and rime most of the time, so what kind of poem is this? A free verse? Most of mine are, so it's nice to read a different kind of writting then my own and to compare mine to yours. It's very good.