Cheating | Teen Ink

Cheating

March 26, 2015
By Elena_Rangel BRONZE, Pasco, Washington
Elena_Rangel BRONZE, Pasco, Washington
4 articles 3 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"If anyone ever tells you that you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, or to give up your foolish dream! If anyone ever tells you to quit, you gotta make them wear a diaper on their mouths because man...they are just talking s***."


Never once did I think it would happen to me
And then it did
I’m in a hollow shell, and the fire is eating me inside
When it comes to myself,
Well there’s no place left to hide

Being cheated on sucks,
And that’s what happened to me.
It’s the evil thing in the world, we all know exists
But we try to avoid
   Like a grave disease


I used to be so happy
The birds would sing as I walked by
After I was cheated on, I wasn’t happy, I was remotely okay
Thunderstorm clouds hovered over me always dark and grey
On the outside I’m mostly okay
But on the inside I am not
It feels like it grows every day;
I can feel my insides rot
It’s like I was poisoned with a potion
That caused me to forever have all these negative emotions


Shock, when I’m contemplating what happened to us
Because I thought we were in love
I kept him so close in my heart…
It’s a thought that I’m sick of

Sadness, in this stage it is normal to cry
And I asked myself over and over, why why why
Because all we had was for nothing
And I was living in a dream
But I guess reality is never as it seems

Anger, when sadness turned into hate
Hating him, and the universe
For putting that person into my life because of “fate”
I want them to feel the pain I felt
It’s like someone whipped my heart
Leaving a bloody red, stinging welt

Love is tarnished, is the word even real?
Or was it a lie I made myself believe?
Hoping that one day I’d feel
What it’s like to be Cinderella
To have someone love us
But how can I ever love someone
When I can’t even love myself?

That’s what he took from me
The ability to love others and love myself
The feeling that I can’t trust anyone and
That everyone is out to hurt me
It’s like living in hell

Being cheated on broke a lot of things,
Yet out of all these broken things
      Trust is what it took

I can’t even fully love the one who loves me
I mean I do love him to the ends of the earth but see
Because of what’s been done to me I’ve put up a wall
And I am so scared to let anyone inside
The voices in my head tell me that it’s going to happen again
And it makes me want to cry
Because what if they are right?

It makes me want to scream!
I want to grab the person who cheated on me and yell
See?! This is what you’ve done to me!! Look at what you’ve done!!
But I won’t…
Because I can’t…

You can’t see inside of me…
And see the monster I’ve become.
I wish I could go back in time
So I can make this go all away, I don’t even want a fresh new start
I just want to be free from the demons that have infested my broken heart


The author's comments:

It’s a personal experience and the feeling are still very raw, and I wish I could add more but I don’t wish to bore you.


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