i was that girl who had no hope
who was a prisoner in my own mind
trapped by saddening thoughts
swallowed by inner insecurities
poisoned by nefarious demons
all waiting to be released.

i was that girl who believed in you
who trusted you were the one to change me
gave you my wounded throbbing heart
let you love my healing scars
welcomed you into my self-destructive mind
while waiting to be put back together.

i was that girl who was foolishly gullible
who believed that i was desired by few
allowed myself to be touched by risky hands
scarred by pleasure seeking bastards
assumed i was the only wanted one
as i was lingering to be snapped into reality.

i was that girl who was full of mistakes
who was the definition of a failure
destroyed everything that offered pure affection
ruined all innocence and happiness
derided myself into a pile of shame
all while hoping to be saved by you
only to be destroyed by me.

i am that self-destructive girl
who has lost myself in the whirlpool of thoughts
suffocated myself with cries for help
marked the flesh of my humiliating body
believed that i was unworthy of all good things
as i waited for that moment of change
a moment that had never come to me
lost myself in the pity of mass destruction
i was a murderer killed every dream of happiness
it is who i have come to be.