I used to enjoy, even prefer the comfort of quiet
Until all that could fill the silence was more silence,
And crying,
And screaming,
And the unmistakable absence of your laugh
Echoing through the halls.
I don’t believe that it has set in yet
Because I can’t cry and I can’t scream,
And I find myself looking out the window
And forgetting that you’re not going to be standing there
Looking back at me
With that little grin
That time and time again
I found myself
Not exactly taking advantage of
But not really appreciating either.
If I had known that the last time I saw it
Would be the last time
I would have never stopped looking at it
Because now I have to look at pictures of you
To remember what you looked like.
You were a beautiful, promising flower
That hadn’t even been given a chance to fully bloom
Before your petals dried up and browned around the edges
And fell to the floor at my feet and
I am so sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise.
I tried, oh god, I tried
But protecting someone you love from the world is one thing
And protecting them from themselves is another.