I swear I saw the light in your eyes dim that night. I saw every hope and wish you had ever made fade from your face. I’m sorry. I know I can never repair this. No matter how many matches I strike on your skin your eyes will stay the same. I’m sorry I put you out. I’m sorry that I only know of ashes, and smoke, and fallen trees in the forest. I’m sorry you had to hear them fall. Feel the earth rumble beneath your feet. I’m sorry you had to feel unsteady. Bones, shaking in your skin, or maybe that was just me. You make me feel as if I could walk on water. I didn’t mean to make you feel as if you were drowning. Forgive me. Forgive every mistake made that night. Forgive all the alcohol from the next night. Forgive the black out. Forgive the repeated mistakes. Please. I swear I saw the fire in your smile fade to artificial lighting in hospital rooms. I’m sorry you had to smell the cancer on my breathe. I’m sorry you had to kiss me. I’m sorry you had to taste it. I’m sorry that crushing the people I love is the only thing I’ve known