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My Precious Peach
February 7, 2014
I breathe your fragrance,
what a heavenly scent.
I touch your skin,
how velvety soft.
I admire your shape,
so perfectly plump.
I bite your flesh,
how savory sweet!
I lick my lips,
my you are delicious…
© Tyson F., Honokaa, HI
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This article has 12 comments.
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 17 2014 at 11:14 pm
Hahaha yes! You finally understand what I was thinking at that precise moment when I first read it. Nonetheless, I think it's a charming poem.
Z.V.Oksana PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 16 2014 at 3:24 pm
Because of this comment, I reread the poem in another viewpoint as if she were talking about a human. "I bite your flesh, how savory sweet! I lick my lips. My you are delicious." Hahahaha. It goes from cute to creepy really fast if she was talking about a person.
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 3 2014 at 10:12 am
I totally thought this was about a person when I read it at first. (I know I'm dumb b/c it says "peach" in the title, but I thought maybe it was a nickname. XD) Anyway, now that I know it's about fruit, it perfectly describes a peach. I love the short stanzas with insane vocab tucked into each one. That's incredible on its own. Then the way you strung them together? Very cool. The only thing I would suggest is deleting the "..." at the end. It gives off the vibe that your poem is incomplete. To create a more definite and confident ending, I would end with a straight-out period.
Love2Read72 PLATINUM said...
on May. 1 2014 at 10:22 am
I like how this isn't generic poem written for a loved one, but for an actual peach. It makes me think that a lot of poets are kind of overthinking all of their poems.
nithyaswaminathan BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2014 at 10:04 am
wow! not many people write about things as simple as peaches, for they can be hard to express, but I think you described the peach perfectly. I love peaches.
ImmortalRose GOLD said...
on Mar. 18 2014 at 12:47 pm
This was kinda funny. I loved it.
JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 3 2014 at 11:18 am
That's crazy good and i don't think you're just talking about a peach here. The way you make that metaphor though is great because it is exactly how a metaphor is suppose to be. That is one wonderful poem and I'll be sure to look out for more. (This is the part where i do self advertisement. Sorry. I just need to get out there.) As long as you keep on commenting on my poetry, I'll be sure to check out some of your new stuff. May your future endeavors be joyful. -JacobTheOrdinary
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