I am Olivia,
Known by others as Olive.

I am sixteen years old.

I am an artist, a fashionista, and a young lady;
Maturing each and every year.
…
I paint.
I laugh.
I smoke.
I take pictures.
I set trends.
I take my cats for walks.

I’ve lived away from my family,
And that is when I learned independence.
…
I smile.
I write.
I game.
I bake cheesecakes.
I text.
I set goals.

I suffer from high anxiety,
And that is when I noticed that I strive for routine.
…
I sleep.
I cry.
I drink blueberry tea.
I dye my hair.
I watch Breaking Bad.
I shave my legs.

I was a follower,
And that is when I realized I have my own voice.
…
I walk.
I sneeze loudly.
I go to school.
I observe.
I wear lipstick.
I eat bacon with peanut butter.

I’ve been fighting a battle against my depression,
And that is when I discovered that life isn’t so bad.
…
I paint my nails.
I write stories in my head.
I dream.
I sing in the shower.
I glam up.
I eat candy.

I was a liar,
And that is when I found the honesty.
…
My cats are my life.
Marley.
Kernel.
Little Girl.

My cats are my best friends.
They purr.
They cuddle.
They know when I am sad.

My cats all have a personality of their own.
They make me laugh.
They make me curious.
They make me annoyed.

I am a crazy cat lady.
…
Art is my escape.
I’m sad, I paint.
I’m happy, I paint.
I’m bored, I paint.

I love colour, contrast and abstract.

The moment my brush touches the canvas,
I am taken to a surreal world.

Here,
I am calm,
At peace,
With my soul.

Forever.
…
I’ve moved around,
From group home to group home.
Trying to find myself in a world full of judgement.

I’ve seen things,
I’ve heard things,
I’ve tried things,
That no girl should experience.

But I have no regrets.
Experience builds personally and wisdom.

I hope to go into the field of social science.
To share with youth my experiences.

Help others understand that;
There is hope,
There is love,
And there is help.

I want to open other’s eyes,
To accept that hate exists,
But that it does not need to control you.

Nothing can control you,
Only
You,
Can
Control,
You.
…
I have times where I lose hope.
My emotions overwhelm me.
I fixate on irrelevant details.

Anxiety attack.

Count to ten.
Take deep breaths.
Distract myself.

Happy thoughts,
Happy thoughts,
Happy thoughts.

These moments I have,
Are quick.
They don’t describe my character.

They describe a battle that I have won.

No longer hurting people.
No longer hurting myself.
No longer freaking out.

I have won this battle.
…
I’ve grown a lot in the past 5 years.
Grown as;
An individual,
A woman,
An artist,
A person.

My name is Olive, and this is 2013.