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So She Drank
January 26, 2014
She rises with the sun as the golden beams maliciously promise her a better day.
Her mind pounded like drums,
Flooded back blurry memories from the night before.
They danced,
And she drank.
They hugged,
And she drank.
They kissed,
And she drank.
They didn't care,
So she drank.
They were everywhere and she couldn't escape.
He mind tried to leave,
But her body was useless.
Trapped on the dirty bar stool.
But she didn't care,
So she drank.
She drank her fears and her hate.
She drank her anger and her frustration.
She drank her way into the streets.
She drank her way into his unscrupulous bed.
She falls with the sun as the silver dust of moonlight settles coldly on the night.
© Alissa F., Marblehead, MA
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This article has 9 comments.
xofelicia97 GOLD said...
on Jan. 29 2014 at 11:11 pm
Hey, thanks! I'll be sure to check it out.
xofelicia97 GOLD said...
on Jan. 29 2014 at 11:11 pm
Oh my gosh. Wow. That made my night. Thank you! I wrote this for my creative writing class and the prompt was to end with that line, so that's how that happened. But I definitely see what you mean!
xofelicia97 GOLD said...
on Jan. 29 2014 at 11:09 pm
Thank you so much! Now that I look at it more I am seeing a lot of things I could have changed. Thank you so much, you're so sweet! :)
CaptainAubby BRONZE said...
on Jan. 29 2014 at 4:20 pm
I love it, it's one of my new favorites. I think you could have stopped at the second to last line, but that doesn't make me love it any less.
Samantha_Lynn_Burke SILVER said...
on Jan. 29 2014 at 7:53 am
You're welcome and yes I do have advice. Sometimes, poetry can take some time and patience to write. You might even have to come back to it once you have found out what more to write on it. It could take days or even weeks, but more time gives the poem more emotion and quality! Even I have poetry that I could have spent more time on. I have some really cruddy (probably spelt that wrong) poems, but I could always go back and critique them! :)
xofelicia97 GOLD said...
on Jan. 27 2014 at 8:31 pm
Thank you! Yeah, I struggled with this a lot. Do you have any advice for me?
Samantha_Lynn_Burke SILVER said...
on Jan. 27 2014 at 9:47 am
Very good poem, but it seems like you just stopped short, like I feel like there should be more of an ending.
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