Here Goes Nothing. | Teen Ink

Here Goes Nothing.

January 14, 2014
By PineWildfires SILVER, Charlestown, Indiana
PineWildfires SILVER, Charlestown, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man&#039;s character, give him power.&quot;<br /> -Abraham Lincoln


Broken teeth and red stained concrete, this would've never worked without you. Seems like it hasn't worked at all. But you're distracted by everything that has been shown.

The sound of your name rolls off my tongue as you appeared. The stench of alcohol on your breath came to focus, as if I could when you're around. Every word spoken, electronic and loud as the ringing in my ears.

Diving into this, maybe... Too quickly for my preference. But I'm all for it if you're going. The more equal we become, it's a perfect fit. Even if you don't notice, I will always remind you. It's nothing to worry about, but just to be cautious.

You're hazardous to my health and I'm waiting for an exchange. The fire burning inside me is yours to claim. If you're up to the challenge, take it swiftly. Give me something to be proud of. Like a soldier, you've taken your stand. And where you stand, is your mark. Ready to fight, and your darker than before. You're going to be great out there. But right now, it's bone for bone. Blood for blood. Eye for eye. Right now this is you and me. In this spot, we are one. As it seems, your the only one backing down.

Silvery trails run from your eyes, and I suddenly couldn't move. Ghosts and nothing more than the deadline around us. The cracking of bones fills your head and suddenly you're carnivorous. It's better if it just ended, but now we are even. We are one. It's you and me. As you violently pulled and scratched, I realized that it's a game.

Something I could easily win.

Well... Here goes nothing.


The author's comments:

The fire burning inside me is yours to claim.


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This article has 6 comments.


on Mar. 10 2014 at 6:36 pm
PineWildfires SILVER, Charlestown, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man&#039;s character, give him power.&quot;<br /> -Abraham Lincoln

I kind of intended it to go back and forth, thats just how I write. Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it! :)

OldYoungOne said...
on Mar. 10 2014 at 3:09 pm
I agree that the visual is good and I get a sense of intensity from the words themselves. However, the execution of the thoughts could have been done in a more neat fashion as to no confuse the reader. It seems to dip in between talking about the present and past also confusing the reader. I would also try condense the poem as a ways to better present the poem.

on Feb. 26 2014 at 12:37 pm
RozaAlexander, Amory, Mississippi
0 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, &amp; accepted by idiots.

i like this, if these are your feelings they very well shown, but if they aren't its not i can still understand the feelings of the poem

Shahrier H. said...
on Jan. 27 2014 at 9:46 am
that makes sense. good job :)

on Jan. 26 2014 at 8:54 pm
PineWildfires SILVER, Charlestown, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man&#039;s character, give him power.&quot;<br /> -Abraham Lincoln

Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it. :) And yes, it is about a street fight between two people. And I guess the reason why it confuses you is because I tend to write from a person's thoughts. They tend to be abstract sentences that secretly describe whats going on. But overall thank you. :)

on Jan. 23 2014 at 12:24 am
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

there are bits of confusion as ii read this, but what gets me is the last line of the first stanza. "as if i could when you're around" you had very good visuals and all of a sudden this kinda breaks off the flow in my head. i dont know whats happening. 3rd stanza, "your" should be "you're"  over all, i was confused with this more often then i'd like to be. some of the sentences do not make that much sense. i do like your work. you have great visuals, your imagery is very vivid and you painted a beautiful picture, but then the confusions seem to be a thorn in the beauty. i must ask, is this about a street fight or boxing, or nal fighting between two people? what is it about?  over all, good job, i liked it.