i think i'm dying
every thump against my chest
vibration of my ribcage
could be the last thing i feel
i think my heart's a fluttery thing
longing to break free
and leave me behind
a shell
without an engine
i lie awake at night and
think,

please don't let me die
please don't let me die
please don't let me die

and wonder
if i'll even wake up tomorrow
and taste sleep and coffee
again
i am a fleck of dirt
a mite
a mote
a pebble
compared to the massive earth
gaia
swallow me up whole

and compared to the sun?
i am an atom

still, the sun is but a pinprick
a speck
in the vastness of this universe, if so,
what am i?
so tiny, so frail
so minuscule, I'm being absorbed
into quantum foam

i want to think i can be a 
black hole
massive, fearsome,
powerful
but what's one mortal body
compared to a might that can
tear time?

my heart is smaller still
if it stopped
the universe
would not pause to mourn
or shudder
i saw lear fall upon a stage
hamlet
macbeth
i applauded their violent demises 
and watched them rise from the dead
to die another night

and when they died
the void was filled 
before the final bow

i have no curtain call
no last song
i am here and
i will be gone
i'm struggling with my 
mortality
there is so much 
i want to,
i need to,
do

and i can feel the 
sand as it trickles through
my life's hourglass
i'm running 
out of time

did the universe mourn for caesar?
will the cosmos mourn
             for me?