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Blurry Mind, 3:22 am
When I was small, I saw
Those movies where the guy
Gets the girl.
They live happily ever after and her
Smile when she sees him is
The most beautiful thing
Because she is confident that
He will never look at anyone
Else the way he looks at her.
What they don’t tell you
Is that the guy looks at
Another like that.
The girl who thought she
Had him has to watch
Him leave.
She’s awake
At four in the morning
Writing sad letters and
Listening to an infinite playlist of
Slow songs.
Tears stain her page as the
Pen spells out the details
Of how he looked at her
The first time they danced.
And I learned that the
Hard way because I swore
I’d be like the girl in my
Childhood films who knows
What she’s doing and falls
In love with the right person.
But I guess when you’re small
They don’t tell you
How to correctly
Mend a broken heart
Until you realize that
There is no “right” way
To do it.
Because I’m that
Crying girl at four
In the morning with
Mascara lines trailing
Down her face while
She finally resigns
Herself to the fact that
The only guy she ever
Loved will never look at
Her that way again.
Because it was never
Real and that other girl
He fell for will always
Have that one thing
That she doesn’t have.
And I’m that girl who
Closes her notebook and
Dries her eyes and tries
To fall asleep as quickly
As she fell in love
And in those last waking
Moments between the faded
Lines, I’m that girl who decides
Once and for all that
She doesn’t believe in love anymore.
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