Perfect | Teen Ink

Perfect

December 13, 2013
By BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
23 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Imagination is more important than knowledge.&quot;<br /> Albert Einstein


she sits and smiles
and smiles and sits and
nods her head and
tries to ignore the blood
leaking from her
fingertips.
drops of red rain.



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This article has 2 comments.


lexiibeale said...
on Jan. 12 2014 at 10:57 pm
lexiibeale, Germantown, Maryland
0 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Colour my life with the chaos of trouble&quot;

I LOVE the flow of this poem. Very nicely done!

on Jan. 7 2014 at 1:28 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&quot;

My biggest critic would be to get rid of the unnecessary words. If you are going for a short and sweet poem then cut out any word that isn't necessary. Once you do that I would rearrange the lines.  For example: She sits
smiles 
smiles 
sits 
nods her head 
ignores 
blood
from
her fingertips 
drops of red
rain Just a visual of what I was thinking. 
I really like the simplicity of this poem and it took me a few times, but I think I get what you were trying to say.