Besotted Heart | Teen Ink

Besotted Heart

November 23, 2013
By EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."


Indifference cloaked my love struck heart
flouting obvious indications
denying the demons in his eyes
fearing pain of truth too severe
I allowed him to exploit my soul



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This article has 16 comments.


on Mar. 29 2014 at 11:41 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. <br /> - Maya Angelou <br /> When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn&rsquo;t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out<br /> The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay<br /> If love produced a blossom/I&rsquo;d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I&rsquo;d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven<br /> And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

firstly: The title is so perfect. And I've been reading many of your pieces. Wow. HOW DO YOU come up with such perfect titles. I always have the hardest time with them and even in the end when I cannot wait any longer to be sharing the writing I am not satisfied with the titles I crown my pieces with. Secondly: This poem is incredible. And I mean literally. I loved your diction throughout though maybe you could've made it flow better. I mean a little tweaking here and there. BUt well really on the whole, when I read it out loud, the breaks only accentuate so maybe not then.

on Jan. 9 2014 at 9:56 am
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&quot;

Okay, go to the top where it says Forums. Scroll over it and then click on Writer's Workshop. Then down to Poetry and Lyrics. Scroll down until you see the title "Connect the Dots" by user EmmaClaire0823 and click on it. Thank you!

on Jan. 8 2014 at 10:55 pm
author_musical PLATINUM, Torrington, Wyoming
27 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sweetie, if you&#039;re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. - Marilyn Monroe

I can really relate to this! It's really good for a short poem, which I find hard to write and convey emotion in. I also let a boy lie to me and I believed him for a while. This is seriously good. Love it!

on Jan. 8 2014 at 8:50 pm
haley101 DIAMOND, Windsor, Connecticut
70 articles 5 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Mary Oliver

I'd love to, but I'm still getting used to the whole forum thing. How does it work?

on Jan. 8 2014 at 9:29 am
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&quot;

Thank you! I orginially was going to put another word in place of "allow" but this poem was written towards teens, and I already had used a wider vocabulary. Though, I do think I will try to find a more specific term to replace "allow."

on Jan. 8 2014 at 9:27 am
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&quot;

Thank you! I orginially was going to put another word in place of "allow" but this poem was written towards teens, and I already had used a wider vocabulary. Though, I do think I will try to find a more specific term to replace "allow." 

on Jan. 8 2014 at 9:25 am
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&quot;

Thank you, that means a lot. I am just freaking out, because I am applying for a Fine Arts school for creative writing. I honestly don't think I am good enough to get in, but of course I am going to try. And of course I will look at some of your work. Again, thank you. I have another poem "Connect the Dots" and it is in a forum that I just finished and it would be great if you could read that. 

asofnow GOLD said...
on Jan. 7 2014 at 7:42 pm
asofnow GOLD, Troy, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing gold can stay ~ Robert Frost

The diction is really admirable especially given the topic of the poem. At first I thought the poem was too short but after rereading it I realize that conciseness is fundamental to the message. A suggestion would be to use a different word rather than "allow". Great job!

on Jan. 7 2014 at 7:03 pm
haley101 DIAMOND, Windsor, Connecticut
70 articles 5 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Mary Oliver

You have a beautiful way with words. You say on your profile that you need help with your writing. Dear, I think you've almost mastered your unique style and poignant use of words. They are so visceral, and so powerful, that I was reminded of my own experiences. You have also mastered the difficulty of creativity, something that can't really be taught, only explored. Great job. You're a great writer, I've read through some of your work. Would you mind checking up on some of mine? I would love your feedback.

on Dec. 9 2013 at 11:01 pm
author_musical PLATINUM, Torrington, Wyoming
27 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sweetie, if you&#039;re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. - Marilyn Monroe

Good poem. It makes me wonder what it is truly about. I like this one too.

on Dec. 9 2013 at 9:35 pm
feychild21 BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What you do makes a difference, and it&#039;s up to you to decide what kind of difference you&#039;re going to make&quot; - Jane Goodall

I love how your able to get such intense emotion across in a short poem. Really wonderful.

TheUniverse said...
on Dec. 9 2013 at 6:37 pm
TheUniverse, Everywhere,, Other
0 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
Exercise to stimulate, not to annihilate. The world wasn&#039;t formed in a day, and neither were we. Set small goals and build upon them.

This is really deep and to be so short at that.  Truly a good piece of poetry. 

on Dec. 8 2013 at 2:34 pm
gossamergirl GOLD, Nowhere, New Hampshire
15 articles 1 photo 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The greatest thing you&#039;ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.&quot; ~ Moulin Rouge

Nice job. This was really relatable. I like the descriptiveness of this piece.

sknight1 said...
on Dec. 3 2013 at 12:11 pm
sknight1, Spanish Fort, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Every writer is a frustrated actor who recites his lines in the hidden auditorium of his skull.&rdquo;

Wow your stuff is great! I can so relate to this!

on Dec. 2 2013 at 8:23 pm
BreathInAndOut PLATINUM, London, Ohio
21 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;People cry, not because they&#039;re weak. It&#039;s because they&#039;ve been strong for too long&quot;

I do love this!! I feel like it is talking about me.

Blynn SILVER said...
on Dec. 2 2013 at 7:05 pm
Blynn SILVER, Waco, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 97 comments
Great poem xx you are a really great writer all of your pieces hold such deep meaning and relatability.