Can you feel it?

The aura resonating in me

It's a sick enough color

To make you believe

That there's stuff I've bottled down

Inside for years

Hoping I would never have to face

My darkest fears

I guess there's empty questions

That still hide inside my head

There were feelings at 16 years old

Of why I wasn't the one

Dead instead?

And all the holes you left a void

When you drifted away



It wasn't choice or hesitation

It wasn't planned for our dismay

You left without saying goodbye

And we could never do the same

I watched you splinter like a board

Coming up with nails

That were struggling to hold down

The structure of broken trails

Oblivious to this sense of time

I never knew what was running out

Until the sand escaped the hourglass

And I knew I was without

Mama it's been 3 years now

Almost a whole 4

But that doesn't make it any easier

Since the last time you left our door

Wherever you are take better care

Of yourself and your new friends

And your son will try his best

In his life to make amends

For any wrongs that I may do

And all the s*** I may go through

I know I've come so far since last we met

I just wish I had one more chance

To say I love you

Mom