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Weak of Will

August 26, 2013
By MERS-CoV SILVER, Porter Ranch, California
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MERS-CoV SILVER, Porter Ranch, California
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment
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Running his fingers along the edge,
it swerves and tires
his stupendous pledge.

He, who hath not killed or maimed,
or such as it be,
shall never be accustomed
to it such as you or me.

He indeed does not prove
as worthy as his word.
For what does promise behoove
but disappointment blurred?

So, all weak of will
and green of gut,
let it be known
that you shall forever be swill.

© Ariel L., Bethesda, MD

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This article has 2 comments.

MERS-CoV SILVER said...
on Sep. 8 2013 at 6:17 pm
MERS-CoV SILVER, Porter Ranch, California
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment
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Thanks for the feedback. Admittedly, I'm not much of a poet. If I have any talent at all, it's usually in narrative prose. Still, your feedback is useful all the same.
PiperBloo GOLD said...
on Sep. 8 2013 at 3:57 pm
PiperBloo GOLD, Long Island, New York
12 articles 0 photos 54 comments

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&quot;there are 2 types of writer&#039;s: one that makes you think and one that makes you wonder&quot;Brian Aldiss<br /> &quot;Some things i cannot change but til i try i&#039;ll never know&quot; Wicked the musical

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I definetly feel you're emotion in this peace and the imagery. However i feel like the rhyming is a little forced and the big uncommon words distract from the poem. But a very good piece just the same. Keep writing!