A Collection of Weather | Teen Ink

A Collection of Weather MAG

By Madeleine Barnes BRONZE, Wexford, Pennsylvania
Madeleine Barnes BRONZE, Wexford, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

There is going to be time to be webs,
the starred weathervane, plenty of time to be
bronze, or the machine that ruptures the picture
into a puzzle, to be famine that coaxes angels

out of their haze, so much time to be snail shells,
lupine seeds, fragments of exoskeletons, examined
and pinned, rustling at the past. Our records
misplaced in creases of wind.

We spent a lot of time wishing the cut pear
could return to itself without help, that its sections
might remember each other. We were devastated
that parts of us were loose, that a shape

could not survive without a shift.
We spent a lot of time waiting for the city to lift,
we spent a lot of time wishing for money
and paint and someone to take care of.

We wished ink into words, words to a mouth,
mouth to extended hand, that someone could not arrive
and depart in the same moment.
We wished for a collection of weather:

thunderclouds fastened beneath glass,
wind swirling in mason jars –
you wish I could remember feathers
without the bird cage, I wish you could fall asleep

without the chandelier on.
It is hard to achieve the quiet of an eyelash
or the swiftness of a fantail.
I wish for a cabinet full of color.

I wish for my ghost to bump into yours
when we cannot mutter about darkness
when you cannot play an instrument
to invoke anguish, when there is nothing

left to tarnish, or to taint

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This article has 16 comments.

malaya said...
on May. 28 2012 at 8:43 pm
this is gorgeous

on Oct. 21 2011 at 1:09 pm
JamesODalaigh BRONZE, Bandon, Other
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better -Samuel Beckett.
Don't be seduced into thinking that that which does not make a profit is without value -Arthur Miller.

wow, excellent poem. one of the best written poems I've come across!

PGoody said...
on Apr. 6 2011 at 8:51 am
Beautiful Imagery!

on Jan. 30 2011 at 6:56 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

Dude. I'm jel. Like deeyum! You know how to write! Your spacing and breaks were fabulous. Gave me chills ;) 

on Dec. 24 2010 at 10:31 am
miss-silverwing GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
16 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd like to flood the streets of your heart with everything I cannot say.

DAYUM. I really like this. There's something very eclectic about it, and I think a lesser poet would have let the almost stream-of-consciouness feel get out of hand, but you managed to keep it under control masterfully and beautifully. I'll have to read it again to really get it, I'm sure, but that's good. It's the kind of poem that makes you think.

Also, I like your line breaks. They emphasize important lines nicely without being too abrupt or awkward.

on Jul. 16 2010 at 3:07 pm
TheAnonymousArtist BRONZE, San Diego, California
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments
Wow, a great poem. Its great to find at least a few peeps with some genuine talent. I applaud you!

on Apr. 26 2010 at 3:41 pm
wefellinLAVA PLATINUM, Copper Cliff, Other
21 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
'you touched my heart, through it's shell'

The way the words are put together is excellent.  This is the first piece I've read that I've bothered to comment on.  It's gorgeous, please keep writing.

on Nov. 13 2009 at 4:39 pm
mirrorsandmirages BRONZE, Timonium, Maryland
4 articles 0 photos 8 comments
Incredible poem with beautiful imagery! I love the alliteration and the repetition as well. Such a pretty piece. Every word is a song.

on May. 5 2009 at 11:59 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

wow this is really prety

KathleenE. said...
on Apr. 11 2009 at 7:32 pm
This is such a striking poem, as always. I love your imagery. For me, "you wish I could remember feathers

without the bird cage" was the most powerful line. I loved its creativity! Spectacular poem.

TheAuthor said...
on Dec. 16 2008 at 4:52 pm
Thank you for your kind comments--Mhahn, I wil definitely look into Kenneth, and if you have any other recommendations, I would be more than happy to hear!

mhahn said...
on Dec. 16 2008 at 12:14 am
Madeline B. You've got talent. Keep on writing. Read Kenneth Koch, if you haven't already. His books about poetry and his poems.

tiger2012 said...
on Nov. 25 2008 at 6:38 pm
i love it! nice work!

H.Caebre said...
on Nov. 17 2008 at 4:24 am
I really love certain lines of this poem, like "I wish you could fall asleep without the chandelier on" and

"we spent a lot of time wishing the cut pair..." but I think it's also sort of a buisy poem. If you eddited it down to a shorter length, then I think each line would stand out more, get the attention it deserves. You have a wonderful way with words though.

ak92092 said...
on Nov. 14 2008 at 2:12 pm
wow. i was entranced while reading this

rockinitout said...
on Oct. 27 2008 at 8:08 pm
This poem got me to think, which I love about it. Great job with the enjambment--flows nicely.