Where were you?
Where were you when Blackjack
Was on the white tile floor, near the beige couch,
His mini-collie body
Convulsing?
The old, black dog with white on his chest
And brown on his paws
Shook
For over a half hour.
Where were you when Kelly, Ryan, and I
Had to sit there and watch,
Watch him suffer

With

NO
Idea
What to do?

Where were you?
Why didn’t you come home?

Our minds thought back to when he’d sleep in my parent’s room corner by the vent,
With a look of serenity on his face
To when he took my uncle’s dog’s toy, completely outsmarting it
To when he’d flip treats off his black-grey nose into his mouth
To when he’d cuddle with my fluffy brat of a cat, Spice
To when he’d follow every footstep of our father, loyal as always

Our hearts felt his life slipping away

Where were you when
We had to put a towel under him
To keep the body fluids from leaking everywhere?

Where were you?
Why didn’t you come home?

I do not handle death well.
Especially not that of a
Childhood friend.

Blackjack had a way of cuddling into you when you were sick
You would instantaneously feel better.
He was always eager for a walk on a bright, sunny day
He loved to chase squirrels out of our yard
Blackjack never failed to bark at every appearance on our doorstep
Life was unimaginable without him
Blackjack was,
Still is,
A part of the family.

The fear of losing such a precious animal
Engulfed us.
Never before had the three of us felt so terrified

Where were you when we needed you?
Why didn’t you come home?