The Attempt | Teen Ink

The Attempt

March 6, 2013
By TheScatteredHeart BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
TheScatteredHeart BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
And too much blood as flown from the wrists/of the children shamed/for those they chose to kiss<br /> <br /> Lyrics to Make it Stop, Rise Against


It always happens
Soft-spoken insults,
To my injury.
And injury I know now
Wasn’t my choice
Certainly wasn't my call
…to make.

No!
What can they do!
You’re not injured
You’re not broken!

But…they…
They always tell me so.
Maybe there’s a high place
Where the air will rush
Against my tearful face
And the pavement below
Will flood
With the blood of my disgrace

Never!
Don’t listen to that voice
Eating away inside you
Because of them…
Stop it now
Don’t let them take you

There words are like knives
Each, always stabbing at my ears
Blades cold, and dead
Reminding me of my face
Of it worthless gaze
And barren eyes
Blue pools that drown in tears
When can they learn!
These lacerations of the heart
They burn,
And…and…
Cannot heal.

Don’t say that!
You think they know?
Life, on your side.
It’s hell,
Yeah, I know
But listen to me
Don’t end it all
Don’t choke that light
One so rare, one so pure
A fire in you, that doesn’t deserve To die.
Don’t end it.
Because they don’t know how…
To Dream like you

NO!!!
I don’t dream!
My dreams left me
Just like the others
My solace in sleep…wasted
Even the night hates me
…maybe these pills will help…

Think about this!
Think about me,
Here, look at my face
Remember…what you said?
That no matter the darkness
That shames our hearts
Defy the right to suffer them
Ignore their callous spit!
Dress yourself, in loves embrace
And the dawn will kill the demons?

...demons…
Forget you!
Forget them! They’re all hell to me
I find no joy anymore
Not in this…
No more...not ever.
Even the stars hate me.

Did I ever make you lonely?
Did I ever think
Did I ever say
Ever
That you are nothing?
That you are below me?
Come here…
I love you.

They’re everywhere

And I’m right here

I can hear them
Screaming there hatred at me
I can feel their fire
Suffocating me, tearing my heart
To shreds
…maybe he’ll do it for me…

Hey, wipe away you sorrow
You think it’s good to cry?
When love…holds your face
In its hands
Like this

Kill me

No

Kill me

I love you

Please

Let me hold you

And a kiss is all it takes
To light the flame again
And take away the hate
That pour from the mouths
Of those hell-bent dreamers of the damned
Who hide
Behind a wish
To be just like me
And you


The author's comments:
This is a dialogue between two lovers, one who is obviously contemplating suicide. They are gay males, close to home for me. I've never actually expierience a suicide, nor have i contemplated it, but knowing exactly how it feels to be bullied a lot, thoughts still rage in one's head. I hope that for those who have ever felt like the attempter, remember the last stanza of the poem.

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