When did watching the news and reading the newspaper become easy?

When I was eight, I remember looking at the grown ups

I hated them all

I couldn’t understand them

I loved playing with dolls

I thought about the day when it wouldn’t be fun anymore

I couldn’t picture it

Then I aged a little

and I looked at grown ups differently

I still didn’t understand them

but now they were intriguing

now I couldn’t wait to be them

Today I understand grown ups

I’m almost one myself

I’m beginning to understand what nostalgia feels like

I’m beginning to think things through

to feel empathy

I feel less confused but I’ve never been this confused before

I wish I could go back and talk to eight year old me

I’d hate myself

I’d call myself a hypocrite

I’d call myself “one of them”

I don’t want to stop surfing channels when I hit the news

I don’t want to stop being selfish

I don’t want to understand