Blueberry pancakes | Teen Ink

Blueberry pancakes

February 24, 2013
By rustyemotions BRONZE, Queens, New York
rustyemotions BRONZE, Queens, New York
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write hard and clear about what hurts.
-Ernest Hemmingway

She finds me tucked in between the couch cushions,
as if I were trying to fit myself into the dusty black hole
where her hair ties and fingernails go to get lost,

I am anxiously sobbing
and I don’t want her to see
so I bury myself in the drunk smell of cushions

she takes one look at me
and knows I have been crying,
a stubborn tear on hot cheek
I don’t have the courage to tell her
that the sadness has eaten away my insides
so I fill the silence with “I am hungry”

she makes me blueberry pancakes
I do not like blueberry pancakes
but I am too tired to ask for anything else

I eat them on the floor in a paper towel
each bite mixing
with a lump of the anxiety
caught in my throat

I ask for more
I want her to fill
the famine inside of me
with blueberry pancakes

The author's comments:
When you want so desperately to be loved by someone, you often times will accept things that are precisely wrong for you. You will be consistent in the accepting of things and people you do not really love, in hope that they will be able to fill the void inside of you. But they cant.

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