An Everlasting Moment | Teen Ink

An Everlasting Moment

December 1, 2012
By Hesper0917 BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
Hesper0917 BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Every artist was first an amateur.


Perhaps it was no more than an hour,
Or even less than thirty minutes,
But it seemed to be everlasting.
The memory of the woman
Whose son had been shot
By a man who left no trace.

Her overwhelming emotions
Of sadness, of grief, and of fright,
The image is inerasable.
The bright flashing lights
Of ambulances, of fire trucks, and of police cars
Brings a crashing wave of emotions,
Emotions that cannot be contained.

Perhaps the culprit will be found,
But that is not something that truly concerns me
For I am no longer with the one who cared for me dearly,
The one who I had once been able to call my mother.



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This article has 4 comments.


on Dec. 10 2012 at 4:50 pm
Hesper0917 BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Every artist was first an amateur.

Thanks! (:

on Dec. 10 2012 at 3:34 pm
ChobaniLuvinPenguin PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
29 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well."
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

I really like the imagery here! It adds suspense and puts you into the scene. Just one thing, "emotions" seems to be repeated too much.

on Dec. 8 2012 at 7:37 pm
iam4evermyself PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
20 articles 1 photo 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope. It is the only thing greater than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is okay, as long as it's contained."

You show so much potential. It's amazing but Now.. go on and add more details to conclude the story. Sense i can sense the main protagnist wants to get revenage for the killing.

on Dec. 8 2012 at 5:06 pm
iam4evermyself PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
20 articles 1 photo 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope. It is the only thing greater than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is okay, as long as it's contained."

This is So Go. I love it :)