I don’t know how or why I get in these moods.
The littlest things set me off.
But I know that all I want to do now is sit and listen to Harry Nilsson and be quiet.
Shut my brain off just for a while and try not to think of painful things.
Think of the winter breeze or Chicago or the beauty of music.
But don’t think about pain.
Or the ways that life takes us for granted and uses our hope,
And then demolishes it.
Don’t think about how each day seems to get worse.
How escaping this daily pattern is not imaginable.
How every minute seems to pile on, until you carry them all
on your back and in your mind.
Don’t rewind back.
But just be still. Be quiet. Be silent.
Focus on the words of the songs.
And only think of good, yet sad things.
Only so you won’t get used to being content.